"Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand."
-Neil Armstrong
Saudi Arabia like a lot of countries in the world…send some students abroad…And Saudi students like a lot of students in the world…tend to enjoy the student life…mingling with other nationalities…no responsabilities…. Hanging out at the local campus café…having road trips on spring break…enjoying a lot of first time experiences…grouping with friends that we know we will be with forever…or will we?
What does bring us together at the end of the day…being in the same environment???!!!…starting a new life???!!! The sudden feel of independence??!!..Sharing the same apartment???!!…going to the same classes???!…having the same mental connection???!!!…laughing at each other's jokes ???!!!!...having each other's back???…experiencing the same things????…being together in intense moments???!!
Whatever it is….The connection is strong and powerful it could even last through our post grad…but what happens when we are back home???!!!!...back to our families…our culture…the friends that we left behind…the things we used to do…or the things we used to believe…
Sure!.... we tend to try to keep in touch…plan trips…if we live in the same town we have a sort of a weekly meeting up…send each other emails…give each other a surprise call from time to time…but the gap grows wider and wider with time..we will try to adapt…will try to fit in…slowly breaking old strings and building new ones…
Till the day the friend that you promised that you would be forever…that you just click with…decides to get married the "traditional way"…
It wouldn't be as dramatic as it sounds…if the partner was not as plain…not as witty….not as open to the world…as he is…but your friend doesn't seem to mind…on the contrary he sinks in…deeper and deeper…he feels like a foreigner…an intruder…he doesn't want to be different…. Doesn't want to be the prodigee…
He changes slowly…severely…the sense of humour is vanished…the repartee is gone…he became darkly old fashioned…even more than your average person that hasn't left the country…he starts using more cultural slang words…he reflects more and more on the traditional thoughts in his being…he denies his other self…
Till one day he has blocked you from his messenger…deleted you from his friend's list…changed his numbers…without a word…without a reason…without a goodbye...
9 comments:
I'm back to the kingdom and I know exactly what you mean. I look at the same things and how although we assumed we'd never part the distance is growing and are amazed at how ppl have changed, both the ones that went abroad too and the ones that stayed at home.. I'd say i'm still in shock, sorry to hear about your friend, I don't think it's any use getting caught up over it, the uae friends i have usually say "illeee ma yabana ma nabah" and that is one way to look at it.
Raven
hi misho..
i have been reading your blog (the world and a Saudi girl) which is Unique and one of a kind..
i can sense your confusion through the lines that reveal a hidden wound, the kind of wounds that it can't be avoided even if you were smart and faithful, It's just happened no matter what the reason was..
but you must know, it wasn't your fault, I don't know you so I can't really say that you are an angle, but you seems to be a pure & sensitive girl with a great passion of giving and taking care of others..
you inspired a lot of girls..
so just be strong and I'm sure life will smile again :)
take care..
Inevitable fate.
We walk different paths. At times they merge, we laugh and cry, live in our momentary delusions and then our roads diverge once more. Writing about it makes good prose in the way it stirs familiar feelings within us all.
If those moments you shared were lived fully then they've transformed into eternity, and those eternal moments will forever be.
Separation is nothing but an illusion. Keep writing. It's therapeutic ; ) Not just for you, for me too! Thanks : )
i think it is part of the cultural shock one receives on his return, and the massive gulfs between the 2 cultures, partly ours to blame.
what is it with updates every 3 months..hang on, that adds up to 4 a year!! pull your socks up will you :p
nadd
Thats is so typical of any Saudi its like your talking about one of my best friends.. we used to talk about every thing and then one day he got married and he didn't even tell me and acted all weird he stopped calling and even emailing .. then after 8 months he got divorced and emailed me .. I blew him off for a while but he kept apologizing then I forgave him.. he promised never to do that again and then the next time around he was getting engaged ( which didn't get through) he told me first..
saudi men do that but it makes me think that may be they didn't really see us as real friends in the first place and that got me thinking is there really can be friendship between a man and a woman with out entangled feelings in-between especially in our society that looks at just talking to another man as ohhh may be your talking about having sex with him.. its that sick of a culture sometimes..
nice blog by the way.:)
saudi bridget, I can't be more agree w you :D
anonymous 1:" elli ma yebina ma bebih" thats the saudi version...glad to know that this "behaviour syndrome" is not only in saudi :P
anonymous 2: thank you so much for your kind words...and ur amazing feel...i am quite known to b horribly sensitive...i guess it could be an adavantage as well as a disadvantage...but what to do? keep it up xxxx
anonymous 3: loool
love ur philosophy...i will keep on writing might not be as often as some ppl/you would like too...but will always be here...thanks hon xxxx
mr.fur: i am sorry...but i get caught up in life sometimes...but didnt forget you...hang on for whats to come...its going to be good...i promise ;)
saudi bridget: first of all absolutely love ur nickname...and u tend (through ur lines) to have her sense of humour as well ;)...lets not patronise...lets say it is not a "sick culture" but hmmm... "a different one;)"..loooool keep it up xxxxxxxxxxx
It's called social conformity, I guess,
you gotta exit one game in order to enter another..
and with that, comes certain sacrifices, and a certain image to maintain, to stay in..
you'll live and endure more, and learn that people change to adapt to new lifestyles, it happened to me far too many times to be hurt, once a person starts acting weird and distant, they're off the list.
You end up being alone, but you'll learn to be your own best friend too :)
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