I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.
-Dr. Seuss
Here it is the story you have all been waiting for….I will go back to where I left it…
Oh this is not good at all…my being polite/social scenario is turning into a nightmare…What will I do? Where do I go? Who should I talk to? Who do I know?…..And there was light!!!!!!!!!!!!!…Daili Lama….
(Nooooo not the guy that that sits in a mountain with an orange robe meditating on the complexity of the human soul)….But my friend Lama…we call her Daili the Mighty Lama…Since she is the wisest (not too sure about that) most experienced and the OLDEST of us all….If she knows I used the "O" word she would exterminate me like a black fly on her chocolate soufflee…As long as we can remember: Lama is 29….and tends to be that way for the rest of her life….
Anyway had to call her…She might help….I can't do this alone…and I can't pretend Eloi doesn't exist and that he had the wrong number (why didn't I think of that earlier)…and I definitely utterly horribly UNIMAGINABLY can't invite him home for a welcoming meal….I am afraid if I asked my dad he would go spontaneously death…..
But usually that is what we normally do…with family friends and others….and the ONLY foreigners that saw our welcome mat on the doorway were doctors…Bankers…and maybe gay interior designers….(hmmm that could be a plan)….Nah…. He doesn't look gay enough….And too risky…..
I hate it I hate it I hate it…Cause I can feel the guilt overwhelming me if I just ignored him or told him to "bogger off"… Me being Arab and Saudi and all…. And my "host" genes switched fully on….I just can't do it…Damn genes….Damn Damn Damn…….(sorry to all sensitive ears and PG 12….I am usually a very refined person )
Anyway had to tell Lama…She will figure something out….
She did…(not figure something out) but suggested coming with us and being the guide tour…She thought that it was "marra" (meaning: very) exciting and the thought of practicing her French…(which resumed to: je m'appelle Lama… je suis celibataire… je suis saoudienne *) made her jump for joy and plan her days to come….I don't think she understands the seriousness of my situation over here….If I get caught by any member or relation or anyone that BREATHES the same air as my family be it man…woman... children…plants….trees…cats and even dogs…I will be shesh kabab for supper…
So what did I exactly do?….I went and met Eloi with Lama…
* " My name is Lama…I am single…I am Saudi…" She thought it was more than enough to get her what she wants with who she wants in whatever French city she wants…
At Eloi's Hotel…
" Oh mon dieu ! (meaning: oh my god!) Masha you become zo pretty and zo tall!"
"Well that’s what 7alib Nido** does to a girl!"
"Vat?"
"Forget it! I am just being silly"
** 7alib Nido meaning milk Nido…It is usually a powder milk drank by babies and was for a long time the main (if not the only) advertisement on Saudi TV
Masha this is not the time for a comedy routine…Everybody in the hotel lobby is starring and Lama is reaaaaaally not helping by drawling over the guy…I am really nervous about the whole thing….But I must confess he changed so much from the skinny little boy with a Lacoste jacket over his shoulders…Hmmm they are creating them pretty good over there…Oh god! This is soooooooo not the time…
Eloi on the other hand was like in a world of his own…He wanted me to cover my face (I don't usually do) to see the Shahrazad version of me…The eyes and the veil its like a fantasy to these people…and I had to do it 456 times a day…just for him to think he is Lawrence of Arabia…ahhhh….The simple things in life….
He also started talking about his impressions of the country…How his work colleagues were nice and how the whole society is so different and fascinating…He also found my crystal designs in the back really cool and started to touch my Abbaya…I don't know what happened to me but I snapped "Ok….Eloi …Here you shouldn't really touch in public…ok?…BAD…BAD to touch in public!!!"
" Oh bien sur! (meaning: of course) I underztand…"
" 7'awaftih Meskin……ya 7elelo! (meaning: you scared him poor thing…he's so cute!)" Of course that was Lama' remark….This girl is really getting on my nerves with her "being very sweet and feminine" act…But I must admit she was a great help in the touristic tour…I am beginning to discover my own country…(oh please give me a break!!!!)…. How many people around the world do you actually know that know their own country and even less there own city…...5 ?
Anyway Like I said I was beginning to discover my own city…We went to all the historical places like "Al Dir'iyyah" which showed the roots and history of Saudi Arabia as well as an insight into the way of life in the region in the late 18th and early 19th century…"Al MusMak Fort" and the Ruler's Palace District …The National museum…and….hmmm…I think that’s about it…lol….
If you have told me a couple of months ago that I would find myself in the middle of the afternoon…in the middle of nowhere…exploring hidden treasures…I would have burst out laughing…but here I am…A F***Archeologist…….(sorry again to all sensitive ears and PG 12…. )
Of course restaurants…Faysaliah globe and shopping centers were on the menu as well…The funny part is…we had no trouble walking around with Eloi…I mean we were not stopped…or questioned or compromised in any situation (only starred at by women who were desperately tying to figure out what was the connection here or because they just wanted to stare) But seriously it actually was very weird…It was like.. yeah you can go in and hang out …yeah no problem he can go in the family section ALONE and meet you guys up….I mean are male foreigners not considered men? Are they not threatening enough? Are they not virile enough? A lot of our security guards and male compatriots tend to think so…
It reminds me of an incident that happened to a friend of mine…I was at her place in London and she was changing in the bathroom with the windows wide open…I pointed at the building facing us…and told her that she better close the windows cause people might be watching…she was like " Nah….there only british!" As if she was saying "Nah! They can't get excited!" Or "Nah! They're gay!!!!...." lol :) it is actually hilarious….
Anway...back to my story…
One night Eloi wanted to invite us in a restaurant to thank us for our hospitality…(he wanted to stay a few more days but I persuaded him to check out Jeddah ..A beautiful city on the red sea…ideal for scuba diving…Cause another day of sneaking and playing hide and seek with the driver is more than I could bare)
We went to the restaurant "Entrecote"… we thought it would be a nice gesture to take him to the famous French steak house with a breathtaking view of Riyadh…And we thought right…He couldn't believe it…and neither the girls sitting next to us….
" Tefakary enhom mdayateen ? (meaning: Do you think they are on a date?)"
" La La…ouja3 m3a thnenhom? ..Bes Allahou a3lam ! (meaning: No no..I don't think so..with both of them? But you never know!)"
" bes hou yihabel! (meaning: he is really cute!)"
" eeeehhh….bas sa3ba sara7a hathola mou mtahirin!!!! (meaning: yes…but it is really hard to be with someone like that…these people are not circumcised !)"
I nearly chocked on my grape juice…lol…poor Eloi they don't even know his name and they already went down his pants…lol…Lama starred at me with a (should- I –teach-them-a-lesson) look… I just shook my head.. It was not worth it…
" esma3i ana lazem arou7..Alwaaled jay bas eg3edi enti ma3a alFarensi (meaning: I've got to go..my father is coming but you stay here with the French guy) " That was me…I have to admit and never thought of it till I saw it in print…Saudis have a tendency to drop names when it comes to foreigners and keep the nationality…like "I am with the American will talk to you later…" forget " I am with John will talk to you later.."
We even do that to other middle eastern countries like " Wen al Bahraini? (meaning: where is the Bahraini?)" Another fact that emphasizes on thinking ourselves the center of the universe…
As I said goodbye to Eloi by giving my hand cause he was going to jump and kiss me… (No you perveted bloggers not a French kiss!!!! ) but the kiss on the cheeks thing… It is a very common thing in France…Anyway as I said goodbye and went back home… I couldn't help but smile…It was an experience I never thought I would have here in my homeland…But it was different and it was nice….
That doesn't mean it is ok to visit Masha in Riyadh…NO!!!!!...BAD…BAD to visit Masha in Riyadh!!!!! Never again….:)
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Ramadan Karim!!!
This is a quick post for all my muslim bloggers to wish them a "Ramadan Mubarak"….May all your prayers be granted in this holy month x x x x x x x x
To all you people who are doing it for detoxing "Happy Detox" and to all you people who are not doing it well "Happy September"…..
Anyway Ramadan was always (for me) an exciting month…For the following reasons: The night life is fantastic…The country switches programs and everything is open till 5 a.m….The food gets much better…Our cook starts having a wild imagination (with the nagging of my mom) and we get to have varieties…. The sambousas* are back on the menu ….And god knows how I LOVE to stuff myself with them…Social life and family reunions are basically on daily basis…..My brothers get really aggressive (They are smokers) so we shouldn't talk, interact, approach them till they have their first cigarette…you get a cut down of cigarettes and other "addictive substances" without a patch stuck to your forehead…You get a cleansing process of the soul, Body, mind and spirit for free….It is a nice change from "earthly" desires, who knows? Might find that center of calm and serenity after all..."Tash ma Tash" ** is back….My working hours are cut to 5 instead of 10…a bliss! ..... I get to wear the jalabiyat*** and have natural A/C flowing through my body for a whole month (and of course it is an amazing way to cover that little tummy of yours when it pops out and says hello after the first meal)….another bliss!!...But will definitely have more difficulty slipping into my jeans after the month passes by…. Can go out at 11:00 P.M without giving a reason….Can sleep till 3:00 P.M without giving a reason as well….We get to travel to Jeddah…and will get to have more time to write to you guys!!!!!
I know you are all waiting for Frenshie in town part II…it is coming very soon…promise…x x x
* It is a pastry that is usually stuffed with meat, spinach or cheese…It can be fried or cooked in the oven…if you never tried it I would definitely suggest popping out to your local Arabic supermarket and get some…
** It is a Saudi comedy series (that comes every Ramadan) and talks about our society and social life in hilarious ways….
*** It is a sort of a one piece traditional cloth/dress…usually covered with motifs, broderies and colours …To all my female bloggers and weird guys who would like to try it if you live in Riyadh check out Harvey nicks 2nd floor they have the funkiest jalabiyats ever from Bahraini, Moroccan and Saudi designers…..The prices are not cheap but they are worth it….(these people have to pay me for that advertisement in my oh-my-so famous- blog…… lol )
p.s: happy national day to all saudis (Erfa3 Rasek anta sou30udi) !!!!!!.......lol
To all you people who are doing it for detoxing "Happy Detox" and to all you people who are not doing it well "Happy September"…..
Anyway Ramadan was always (for me) an exciting month…For the following reasons: The night life is fantastic…The country switches programs and everything is open till 5 a.m….The food gets much better…Our cook starts having a wild imagination (with the nagging of my mom) and we get to have varieties…. The sambousas* are back on the menu ….And god knows how I LOVE to stuff myself with them…Social life and family reunions are basically on daily basis…..My brothers get really aggressive (They are smokers) so we shouldn't talk, interact, approach them till they have their first cigarette…you get a cut down of cigarettes and other "addictive substances" without a patch stuck to your forehead…You get a cleansing process of the soul, Body, mind and spirit for free….It is a nice change from "earthly" desires, who knows? Might find that center of calm and serenity after all..."Tash ma Tash" ** is back….My working hours are cut to 5 instead of 10…a bliss! ..... I get to wear the jalabiyat*** and have natural A/C flowing through my body for a whole month (and of course it is an amazing way to cover that little tummy of yours when it pops out and says hello after the first meal)….another bliss!!...But will definitely have more difficulty slipping into my jeans after the month passes by…. Can go out at 11:00 P.M without giving a reason….Can sleep till 3:00 P.M without giving a reason as well….We get to travel to Jeddah…and will get to have more time to write to you guys!!!!!
I know you are all waiting for Frenshie in town part II…it is coming very soon…promise…x x x
* It is a pastry that is usually stuffed with meat, spinach or cheese…It can be fried or cooked in the oven…if you never tried it I would definitely suggest popping out to your local Arabic supermarket and get some…
** It is a Saudi comedy series (that comes every Ramadan) and talks about our society and social life in hilarious ways….
*** It is a sort of a one piece traditional cloth/dress…usually covered with motifs, broderies and colours …To all my female bloggers and weird guys who would like to try it if you live in Riyadh check out Harvey nicks 2nd floor they have the funkiest jalabiyats ever from Bahraini, Moroccan and Saudi designers…..The prices are not cheap but they are worth it….(these people have to pay me for that advertisement in my oh-my-so famous- blog…… lol )
p.s: happy national day to all saudis (Erfa3 Rasek anta sou30udi) !!!!!!.......lol
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
A Frenchie in town…(part I)
No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.
-Althea Gibson
I am writing this post...because the previous post still hurts...so it is my way to keep my mind of things...But please don't hesitate to comment on both...It might help me move on...thanks...love you all x x x x
This story will be held in two parts since you have to know the beginning….(how it all started) and the end…(how it all ended..duh!)
Anyway it was my 13 birthday and my parents sent us away (my brother and I) to a summer school in the states B.C. (before crash..the 9/11 one)..We never went back A.C…. since it was too much to handle for my mom to see the security guard looking through her make up bag for an hour…
Like I was saying my parents sent us away for two major reasons…1) to get rid of us…2) To not see us for a whole month and get rid of us…
I was quite glad though… I love new experiences and this one seemed promising….My brother was not that enthusiastic…He was in his aggressive phase and tried desperately to get a full "saksouka" meaning "gottie" from his scarce facial hair by shaving every single morning…(not happening!!!!) and plus he was moaning through the whole flight about not seeing his "shila" meaning "gang" for a whole month….
"wija3 benetfash!!!"….meaning "damm we're gonna be so bored"…
Must be really hard to be a teen when you are a guy….I mean I thought we had trouble but jeeez…you people are worse…with the mood swings and the facial hair and the uncontrollable........................ok you got the picture…
Anyway I loved the school and I loved my roommates even more….But I didn't get to see my brother often…Seeing that I was younger…I was put in another department…At first it kind of scared me…But soon enough I was having so much fun that I forgot all about him…Except when he came to pat me on the head and check my physical state... then I would leave everything to go and sit with him…
It is funny but since that young age I always got my ways with men…My brothers were not as different as the others…My family has the strictest macho guys you have ever seen…It is all a question of ego and making them feel needed…I always got my way softly& femininely by making them think it was their way…very simple and always works..…
Anyway it was in this school that I met Eloi .…My French friend to be…According to him he is grounded because of his grades…Therefore his parents sent him to the states to punish him..(Talk about a punishment)…lol
"I haaate it heeere Masha..it iz horribol…I am living in a tuna can and ze water of ze shower is not calcareous.. yesterday, I stayed in ze putain (meaning f***) shower for an hour to remove ze soap…Tu te rends comptes? ( meaning can you imagine?) when I tink dat I could be wid my cousins in La Cote D'azur a ce moment (meaning In that moment)!!!! "
Yes he was a "walad mama" meaning "mommy's boy" and yes he was always complaining but I adored him…he made me laugh with that cute accent of his…
"Just go and make friends…of course you wont like it if you shut everybody out…go…talk to people…improve your English…lol!!!"
"hahaha..verrry funny..how can you talk to diz peopol ...zey have notiiing to talk about…zey are prehistoric men…zey do not know anything…look at dem over dere…Look! do you think dat iz normale (meaning normal)?" He pointed out at a bunch of guys playing American football beating each other up in the mud….lol…I couldn't stop laughing….he's got a point there...
Needless to say he bought a fridge to buy food and stuck it there cause the cafeteria's meal was "unmangeable" meaning "not eatable"…He phoned his family everyday to go back…He finally got his wish….They thought it was enough punishment and in less than two weeks time in this Bled de merde (meaning Country of shit) he hugged me goodbye…
(N.B please note that the slang word "Bled" comes from the Arabic word "balad"…which means country…"pays" in French…)
9 years later... Never thought of seeing Eloi again till he called me from a private number....
"Alloooo...Masha...C'est Eloi ( meaning It is Eloi)..."
"Eloi....who?"
"Eloi..rimember...summer school...I told you I might be coming....I am heeere..surprise!!!!"
"Here where? Here in Saudi...here in Riyadh?????????"
"ouuuuiiii (meaning yes)....I have a business meeting but I tought I see you also..C'est pas fantastique? (meaning isn't it fantastic)?"
No... c'est pas fantastic....It is sooo not" fantastique"...True we exchanged emails...true I told him to come and visit Saudi one of these days...But isn't it one of those social things you do and never mean...I mean how many people did you actually take contacts from and called them even less visited them... (if somebody tells me loads...I will strangle them)
Oh no this is not good...not good at all....my being polite/ social scenario is turning into a nightmare.... (to be continued)
-Althea Gibson
I am writing this post...because the previous post still hurts...so it is my way to keep my mind of things...But please don't hesitate to comment on both...It might help me move on...thanks...love you all x x x x
This story will be held in two parts since you have to know the beginning….(how it all started) and the end…(how it all ended..duh!)
Anyway it was my 13 birthday and my parents sent us away (my brother and I) to a summer school in the states B.C. (before crash..the 9/11 one)..We never went back A.C…. since it was too much to handle for my mom to see the security guard looking through her make up bag for an hour…
Like I was saying my parents sent us away for two major reasons…1) to get rid of us…2) To not see us for a whole month and get rid of us…
I was quite glad though… I love new experiences and this one seemed promising….My brother was not that enthusiastic…He was in his aggressive phase and tried desperately to get a full "saksouka" meaning "gottie" from his scarce facial hair by shaving every single morning…(not happening!!!!) and plus he was moaning through the whole flight about not seeing his "shila" meaning "gang" for a whole month….
"wija3 benetfash!!!"….meaning "damm we're gonna be so bored"…
Must be really hard to be a teen when you are a guy….I mean I thought we had trouble but jeeez…you people are worse…with the mood swings and the facial hair and the uncontrollable........................ok you got the picture…
Anyway I loved the school and I loved my roommates even more….But I didn't get to see my brother often…Seeing that I was younger…I was put in another department…At first it kind of scared me…But soon enough I was having so much fun that I forgot all about him…Except when he came to pat me on the head and check my physical state... then I would leave everything to go and sit with him…
It is funny but since that young age I always got my ways with men…My brothers were not as different as the others…My family has the strictest macho guys you have ever seen…It is all a question of ego and making them feel needed…I always got my way softly& femininely by making them think it was their way…very simple and always works..…
Anyway it was in this school that I met Eloi .…My French friend to be…According to him he is grounded because of his grades…Therefore his parents sent him to the states to punish him..(Talk about a punishment)…lol
"I haaate it heeere Masha..it iz horribol…I am living in a tuna can and ze water of ze shower is not calcareous.. yesterday, I stayed in ze putain (meaning f***) shower for an hour to remove ze soap…Tu te rends comptes? ( meaning can you imagine?) when I tink dat I could be wid my cousins in La Cote D'azur a ce moment (meaning In that moment)!!!! "
Yes he was a "walad mama" meaning "mommy's boy" and yes he was always complaining but I adored him…he made me laugh with that cute accent of his…
"Just go and make friends…of course you wont like it if you shut everybody out…go…talk to people…improve your English…lol!!!"
"hahaha..verrry funny..how can you talk to diz peopol ...zey have notiiing to talk about…zey are prehistoric men…zey do not know anything…look at dem over dere…Look! do you think dat iz normale (meaning normal)?" He pointed out at a bunch of guys playing American football beating each other up in the mud….lol…I couldn't stop laughing….he's got a point there...
Needless to say he bought a fridge to buy food and stuck it there cause the cafeteria's meal was "unmangeable" meaning "not eatable"…He phoned his family everyday to go back…He finally got his wish….They thought it was enough punishment and in less than two weeks time in this Bled de merde (meaning Country of shit) he hugged me goodbye…
(N.B please note that the slang word "Bled" comes from the Arabic word "balad"…which means country…"pays" in French…)
9 years later... Never thought of seeing Eloi again till he called me from a private number....
"Alloooo...Masha...C'est Eloi ( meaning It is Eloi)..."
"Eloi....who?"
"Eloi..rimember...summer school...I told you I might be coming....I am heeere..surprise!!!!"
"Here where? Here in Saudi...here in Riyadh?????????"
"ouuuuiiii (meaning yes)....I have a business meeting but I tought I see you also..C'est pas fantastique? (meaning isn't it fantastic)?"
No... c'est pas fantastic....It is sooo not" fantastique"...True we exchanged emails...true I told him to come and visit Saudi one of these days...But isn't it one of those social things you do and never mean...I mean how many people did you actually take contacts from and called them even less visited them... (if somebody tells me loads...I will strangle them)
Oh no this is not good...not good at all....my being polite/ social scenario is turning into a nightmare.... (to be continued)
A Loss
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
-Robert Brault
Before I go into details…I have a question for all of you…Do you believe in girls and guys friendship?... Can we be so connected to the opposite gender in every way and still be friends? Is it natural? Can the creation of your being since the beginning of time "to be in a couple" vanish? And just have a mirror of yourself reflected in his/her eyes? …
If you asked me the same question a couple of months ago I would have definitely said yes…although a lot of people in our society would doubt it…It is not really a matter of geography than education…Being Saudi you cannot really hangout with other Saudis unless there are family or school/university/holiday friends…and even if you do.. Being in a group would be more moral and less "harmful" to reputation…
But if horrors of horrors you end up going out and have a "friendly" one to one coffee break with a guy the probability that this guy is perceived as your potential "partner" is 99.99%...
The location doesn't make a difference although places such as dim light restaurant, Chalets, "Istirahas" meaning "get away places", the diplomatic quarter (now it is harder with the tanks over there), the Bridge overlooking the cemetery (don't ask! Lol) and the Globe on top of Alfaysaliah are all considered "positive" date material… and bringing your "friend" there might look kind of dodgy… or that you are trying to make a move…
But if by any chance you happen to be abroad and he/she is too…you might meet up….hang out….catch up physically what you have been endlessly babbling about on the phone and e.mail…and spending your whole break with him/her…
Trust me nobody with a normal mental capacity will think that a straight, complete, functioning male could be that close to his similar in a female and not have feelings for her…but it happened….to me
Before I begin…let me tell you…I am one of those people that do not believe that my kinder garden mud playmate is my best friend and the rest " basta" meaning "out of the way"… Actually my kinder garden playmate was my best friend but life has made its course and we passed piggy tails era…Now we are just friends with a sense of nostalgia… Sometimes I feel closer to friends I have met 5 min ago but feel as if I have known them for ages…sometimes I feel closer to work colleagues that I see most of my time and can relate to during my stress attacks…and sometimes I go back to friends that really annoy me during regular days but are there when times get rough… To cut a long story short…I do not have a best friend…but friends I got close to along the way and through the different stages of my life…except for him…
He was different ..(not only physically different= he didn't have a curvacious upper body and matching bag/ shoes:):)) but mentally as well…he was the only one that saw me go through transformation from a hormonal adolescent with braces at 14 and turn to a more "Thagila" meaning "posed" young woman at 24….
For 10 years he was the pillar ..the security and point of comfort in my life…I loved him like my brother...maybe more…cause I didn't see the latter often…We had our quarrels and fights but he always managed to soothe me somehow and vice versa…
I guess I should have seen it coming when he sat me down one day and blubbered the whole truth…The truth that I was the one...The truth that he loved me from the first day he layed eyes on me…The truth that he couldn't stand seeing me with another… The truth that all these years he searched for a way to tell me… The truth that no one will understand me like he does…The truth the no one will ever love me like he will…The truth that he wants to be serious and settle down…The truth that he wants to be the father of my children whether their his own or not…The truth that he could wait for ever if he is sure to have me in the end…The truth about his feelings…The truth about us and the truth about him…
My eyes expanded in a moment of lucidity …and my heart contracted so much that I thought it would burst…I couldn't swallow…and I couldn't breathe…I just stared at him while listening to my own heart beat in my ear…
It is over…It can never be the same again…I should've known…But I was in denial…denying it in my head…denying it in my heart…
For years…My friends saw us as the perfect couple…Tall, incredibly gorgeous, smart, successful… He is every woman's fantasy…what was wrong with me…???
But maybe sometimes you need that perfect chemistry with that imperfect someone to fall in love.................If I did... I would have left everything for him….but I hadn't...so I lost… I lost the best friendship I've ever had and ever will…I lost the closest person to my soul and heart…I lost a part of me…I lost myself…and I lost him…
-Robert Brault
Before I go into details…I have a question for all of you…Do you believe in girls and guys friendship?... Can we be so connected to the opposite gender in every way and still be friends? Is it natural? Can the creation of your being since the beginning of time "to be in a couple" vanish? And just have a mirror of yourself reflected in his/her eyes? …
If you asked me the same question a couple of months ago I would have definitely said yes…although a lot of people in our society would doubt it…It is not really a matter of geography than education…Being Saudi you cannot really hangout with other Saudis unless there are family or school/university/holiday friends…and even if you do.. Being in a group would be more moral and less "harmful" to reputation…
But if horrors of horrors you end up going out and have a "friendly" one to one coffee break with a guy the probability that this guy is perceived as your potential "partner" is 99.99%...
The location doesn't make a difference although places such as dim light restaurant, Chalets, "Istirahas" meaning "get away places", the diplomatic quarter (now it is harder with the tanks over there), the Bridge overlooking the cemetery (don't ask! Lol) and the Globe on top of Alfaysaliah are all considered "positive" date material… and bringing your "friend" there might look kind of dodgy… or that you are trying to make a move…
But if by any chance you happen to be abroad and he/she is too…you might meet up….hang out….catch up physically what you have been endlessly babbling about on the phone and e.mail…and spending your whole break with him/her…
Trust me nobody with a normal mental capacity will think that a straight, complete, functioning male could be that close to his similar in a female and not have feelings for her…but it happened….to me
Before I begin…let me tell you…I am one of those people that do not believe that my kinder garden mud playmate is my best friend and the rest " basta" meaning "out of the way"… Actually my kinder garden playmate was my best friend but life has made its course and we passed piggy tails era…Now we are just friends with a sense of nostalgia… Sometimes I feel closer to friends I have met 5 min ago but feel as if I have known them for ages…sometimes I feel closer to work colleagues that I see most of my time and can relate to during my stress attacks…and sometimes I go back to friends that really annoy me during regular days but are there when times get rough… To cut a long story short…I do not have a best friend…but friends I got close to along the way and through the different stages of my life…except for him…
He was different ..(not only physically different= he didn't have a curvacious upper body and matching bag/ shoes:):)) but mentally as well…he was the only one that saw me go through transformation from a hormonal adolescent with braces at 14 and turn to a more "Thagila" meaning "posed" young woman at 24….
For 10 years he was the pillar ..the security and point of comfort in my life…I loved him like my brother...maybe more…cause I didn't see the latter often…We had our quarrels and fights but he always managed to soothe me somehow and vice versa…
I guess I should have seen it coming when he sat me down one day and blubbered the whole truth…The truth that I was the one...The truth that he loved me from the first day he layed eyes on me…The truth that he couldn't stand seeing me with another… The truth that all these years he searched for a way to tell me… The truth that no one will understand me like he does…The truth the no one will ever love me like he will…The truth that he wants to be serious and settle down…The truth that he wants to be the father of my children whether their his own or not…The truth that he could wait for ever if he is sure to have me in the end…The truth about his feelings…The truth about us and the truth about him…
My eyes expanded in a moment of lucidity …and my heart contracted so much that I thought it would burst…I couldn't swallow…and I couldn't breathe…I just stared at him while listening to my own heart beat in my ear…
It is over…It can never be the same again…I should've known…But I was in denial…denying it in my head…denying it in my heart…
For years…My friends saw us as the perfect couple…Tall, incredibly gorgeous, smart, successful… He is every woman's fantasy…what was wrong with me…???
But maybe sometimes you need that perfect chemistry with that imperfect someone to fall in love.................If I did... I would have left everything for him….but I hadn't...so I lost… I lost the best friendship I've ever had and ever will…I lost the closest person to my soul and heart…I lost a part of me…I lost myself…and I lost him…
Friday, September 01, 2006
Bluetooth the new dating method?
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/dont.php
I thought about showing you this URL...loooooooooooollllllllll...you've got to see this!!!!!...but don't forget to get back and read my blog....or no more goodies for you guys...lol
In form you are the microcosm;
in reality you are the macrocosm.
-Mathnawi [IV, 521]
Wednesday night..The beginning of another weekend..(the w/e here is Thursdays and Fridays by the way)..In some middle eastern countries its Fridays and Saturdays and sometimes it’s a bit of Wednesdays and a bit of Fridays and sometime Thursdays…very confusing if you are a tourist even more confusing if you are a civil…So for all of these countries that are changing all the time..(If by any chance you are reading this)…stick to a day people…seriously…jeeeez!!!
Anyway..yes I am back in the country…..and can I admit???…I'm politically incorrectly glad to be here.. although half the city is out of town and you can fry eggs on the main road…It feels sooooo good!!!!
Let me explain I am one of those very very very very rare people that get bored on holidays…the first week its relaxing…the second interesting…the third I am going out of my mind!!!!!!..I need to do something and quick..I know I know...should get myself checked..but hey my boss adores me...:):):):)
After three weeks of this fresh new glad-to-be-home feeling...My life was resumed to work to house to house to work..Maybe a quick stop to a supermarket somewhere since my 6’ o’clock sharp chocolate double fudge ice cream cravings are getting worse everyday..
Please don’t analyze the reason..I don’t want to know..
Anyway on a particular low hot summer Wednesday evening a high school friend called..
"What are you up to?" she asked in a laid-back kind of voice..I don’t know why but something about the Saudi air makes you want to talk slower then the usual.. I personally call it the SVS..."saudi voice syndrome!"
"Nothing much!"
"Want to go out somewhere..and shop around?"
"I really don’t feel like it!" And that was so true regardless of me feeling low..
"Oh come on..Get ready and we will meet up in "Al Faysalia" or do you prefer "Al Mamlaka?"
(Two main shopping center-hotel-restaurant-cafes-globes-all in one enormous skyscrapers in central Riyadh)
"These are my options?"
"Where else would we go? Listen lets first go to the Mamlaka’s woman section..If you had enough of the whole parade..We can go to the Faysaliya.." Yes! we have a whole woman section and No! we do not have bachelorette parties there..
"What parade?"
"God! You have never been?"
"No..is that bad?.."
"Oh my god you will see the whole "fadaye7"... meaning "the whole uncensured version"... It is a live fashion show and plus it is a Wednesday night so EVERYBODY is going to be there..get ready for some major showing off!"
"You know I never understood this concept..I mean it is just us girls why the whole make up..Tight jeans..Loose hair? Don’t we have to on the contrary be as simple as possible in case of a dirty look which leads to a 40 degrees fever the next day?"
"Just come..Plus I miss you girl. We never see you!"
"Ok..ok 20 minutes I am there"
An hour later..
(That is another thing about the Saudi air..You can never make it on time even if you try your very best)..I met my good friend for a coffee on the Mamlaka’s 3rd floor woman’s section.. Although everybody took out their “Abayas”... “Tarhas” and everything that could possibly cover up what they so desperately tried to show...I felt uncomfortable without a piece of cloth hanging loose from my head..I guess it is a question of habit...
In the timing of exactly 5 minutes I was tired of the whole parade.."My good friend" on the other hand loved every minute of it.. Pointing and commenting on every other girl..I just listened in a state of semi consciousness...I didn’t realize how tired I was till I actually walked..This is not good..New september resolution..(i have a resolution per month..never works!)..Walk and use these things in your body called legs..
Which made me think I need a new pair of shoes..?!
Needless to say that shoes lead to clothes that lead to bags that lead to accessories which even lead to nightwear..
Another New september resolution don’t go shopping unless physically and emotionally stable..
I was low again..So we decided to go to the Faysaliya..On our way there I received a message..and another one then another one..As I searched through my bag for the squeaking voice I realized that I didn’t know any of those numbers..and it also came in a strange peculiar way..Like a sort of business card or something..This was the day I discovered Bluetooth..
I know what you are thinking at this moment..Where has she been living….Mars?..I know..But technology is not really my cup of tea..I knew there was something in my phone under the name of Bluetooth but never tried to know what it was..For crying out loud.. I just discovered a month ago that we could text faster using a T9 dictionary.. and you are talking to me about using a laser beam..
I had all sort of messages like.."want to get to know you"..or "my god I am bewitched by your eyes"..and very corny and cheesy things like that..But there was one in particular that made me smile..
A Bugs bunny kind of arabized rabbit pointing his finger at me and going " Whats up doc????" I know it is silly but it made me laugh..
"Where do these come from?" showing the messages to my friend
"Oh Bluetooth! Look around you..."
I didn’t get her at first but as I focused on the cars Mercedes..BMs..Lamborguinis…Hammers..They were full of teenagers, young men, older men, super married middle aged men…it suddenly struck me but of course it was a typical Wednesday night..There had to be some flirting going on..
"Where did here- is- my –number- in –your- face go?" I asked rather dumbly
"You have been away for too long girl..Bluetooth is the new thing"
"But who do you know which is which?"
"Well that is the tricky part it might be this guy or that one..or even that other one..and sometimes it is not aimed at you..or aimed at everyone..So you got to keep your senses alert.."
"So they don’t know my number right?" I asked dumbly again
"Of course not! There are not mind readers it is kind of a laser text messaging..I think it is kinda cute..Coz you get all these sweet words without having a psycho driving behind you or even having eye contact"
Hmmmm...talk about "a lifting the spirit" therapy...
Needless to say I got addicted..no not in a perveted type of way… (ok a bit)..lol..but in sending and receiving those funny soudanese/weird shubby cartoons video clips..hilarious..I don't know who invented those..but they are geniuses..if you guys have any send me some...:):):)
I thought about showing you this URL...loooooooooooollllllllll...you've got to see this!!!!!...but don't forget to get back and read my blog....or no more goodies for you guys...lol
In form you are the microcosm;
in reality you are the macrocosm.
-Mathnawi [IV, 521]
Wednesday night..The beginning of another weekend..(the w/e here is Thursdays and Fridays by the way)..In some middle eastern countries its Fridays and Saturdays and sometimes it’s a bit of Wednesdays and a bit of Fridays and sometime Thursdays…very confusing if you are a tourist even more confusing if you are a civil…So for all of these countries that are changing all the time..(If by any chance you are reading this)…stick to a day people…seriously…jeeeez!!!
Anyway..yes I am back in the country…..and can I admit???…I'm politically incorrectly glad to be here.. although half the city is out of town and you can fry eggs on the main road…It feels sooooo good!!!!
Let me explain I am one of those very very very very rare people that get bored on holidays…the first week its relaxing…the second interesting…the third I am going out of my mind!!!!!!..I need to do something and quick..I know I know...should get myself checked..but hey my boss adores me...:):):):)
After three weeks of this fresh new glad-to-be-home feeling...My life was resumed to work to house to house to work..Maybe a quick stop to a supermarket somewhere since my 6’ o’clock sharp chocolate double fudge ice cream cravings are getting worse everyday..
Please don’t analyze the reason..I don’t want to know..
Anyway on a particular low hot summer Wednesday evening a high school friend called..
"What are you up to?" she asked in a laid-back kind of voice..I don’t know why but something about the Saudi air makes you want to talk slower then the usual.. I personally call it the SVS..."saudi voice syndrome!"
"Nothing much!"
"Want to go out somewhere..and shop around?"
"I really don’t feel like it!" And that was so true regardless of me feeling low..
"Oh come on..Get ready and we will meet up in "Al Faysalia" or do you prefer "Al Mamlaka?"
(Two main shopping center-hotel-restaurant-cafes-globes-all in one enormous skyscrapers in central Riyadh)
"These are my options?"
"Where else would we go? Listen lets first go to the Mamlaka’s woman section..If you had enough of the whole parade..We can go to the Faysaliya.." Yes! we have a whole woman section and No! we do not have bachelorette parties there..
"What parade?"
"God! You have never been?"
"No..is that bad?.."
"Oh my god you will see the whole "fadaye7"... meaning "the whole uncensured version"... It is a live fashion show and plus it is a Wednesday night so EVERYBODY is going to be there..get ready for some major showing off!"
"You know I never understood this concept..I mean it is just us girls why the whole make up..Tight jeans..Loose hair? Don’t we have to on the contrary be as simple as possible in case of a dirty look which leads to a 40 degrees fever the next day?"
"Just come..Plus I miss you girl. We never see you!"
"Ok..ok 20 minutes I am there"
An hour later..
(That is another thing about the Saudi air..You can never make it on time even if you try your very best)..I met my good friend for a coffee on the Mamlaka’s 3rd floor woman’s section.. Although everybody took out their “Abayas”... “Tarhas” and everything that could possibly cover up what they so desperately tried to show...I felt uncomfortable without a piece of cloth hanging loose from my head..I guess it is a question of habit...
In the timing of exactly 5 minutes I was tired of the whole parade.."My good friend" on the other hand loved every minute of it.. Pointing and commenting on every other girl..I just listened in a state of semi consciousness...I didn’t realize how tired I was till I actually walked..This is not good..New september resolution..(i have a resolution per month..never works!)..Walk and use these things in your body called legs..
Which made me think I need a new pair of shoes..?!
Needless to say that shoes lead to clothes that lead to bags that lead to accessories which even lead to nightwear..
Another New september resolution don’t go shopping unless physically and emotionally stable..
I was low again..So we decided to go to the Faysaliya..On our way there I received a message..and another one then another one..As I searched through my bag for the squeaking voice I realized that I didn’t know any of those numbers..and it also came in a strange peculiar way..Like a sort of business card or something..This was the day I discovered Bluetooth..
I know what you are thinking at this moment..Where has she been living….Mars?..I know..But technology is not really my cup of tea..I knew there was something in my phone under the name of Bluetooth but never tried to know what it was..For crying out loud.. I just discovered a month ago that we could text faster using a T9 dictionary.. and you are talking to me about using a laser beam..
I had all sort of messages like.."want to get to know you"..or "my god I am bewitched by your eyes"..and very corny and cheesy things like that..But there was one in particular that made me smile..
A Bugs bunny kind of arabized rabbit pointing his finger at me and going " Whats up doc????" I know it is silly but it made me laugh..
"Where do these come from?" showing the messages to my friend
"Oh Bluetooth! Look around you..."
I didn’t get her at first but as I focused on the cars Mercedes..BMs..Lamborguinis…Hammers..They were full of teenagers, young men, older men, super married middle aged men…it suddenly struck me but of course it was a typical Wednesday night..There had to be some flirting going on..
"Where did here- is- my –number- in –your- face go?" I asked rather dumbly
"You have been away for too long girl..Bluetooth is the new thing"
"But who do you know which is which?"
"Well that is the tricky part it might be this guy or that one..or even that other one..and sometimes it is not aimed at you..or aimed at everyone..So you got to keep your senses alert.."
"So they don’t know my number right?" I asked dumbly again
"Of course not! There are not mind readers it is kind of a laser text messaging..I think it is kinda cute..Coz you get all these sweet words without having a psycho driving behind you or even having eye contact"
Hmmmm...talk about "a lifting the spirit" therapy...
Needless to say I got addicted..no not in a perveted type of way… (ok a bit)..lol..but in sending and receiving those funny soudanese/weird shubby cartoons video clips..hilarious..I don't know who invented those..but they are geniuses..if you guys have any send me some...:):):)
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