Black magic Myth or Dark reality?

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

-Christopher Robin to Pooh bear :)

Since the beginning of Time Magic was used to help us poor mortals through the mysteries of Life...Ancient Egypt performed curses on Pharao's tombs to destroy the coming robbers...Merlin was believed to have bought Stonehendge from the East to Southern England...LaVoisin practiced Satanic rituals with infant's blood to keep the mistresses of King Louis XIV as favourites...Africans get high with chants to invoke the spirits...King Rodolphe II of Habsburg got mad and thought he was possesed by the devil...He also thought he was a subject of conspiracies...and decided to bewitch his brother for not accessing the throne...He locked himself in a tower day and night to invent potions and perform rituals ...since he was convinced he would die on his 50th birthday...(he died two years later)....

But let's fast forward to our present time...Does it still exist????....

In the middle East and other Arabic speaking countries the best "spell makers" since the beginning of time to this day are the Omanites (people from Oman), The Sudanese (People from Sudan), the Jews in general, the Yemenites (people from Yemen), the Moroccans (People from Morocco) and Indonesians (People from Indonesia)…Of course these are the famous and obvious ones there might be other exceptions but these are not very common…

The Hocus Pocus ingredients: (God I sound like the witch in Macbeth!!!!) anything from serpents, lizards, chameleons (they are actually instinct in our part of the world because of that) , hyenas, dead birds, knotted threads, pictures, hair, writings on shrouds or cloth, Dirt, Sewage, Blood, Red Ink…and many more…

The places where the "spell" is put as not to be found: under the marble of houses or the building itself, in the gardens, in animals or tied to them, desert, Sea, under Desks in offices, food, Beds, Rooms, mostly where the motive of the spell should function as its best…

Although it is known as a woman's tendency of an "extra activity"…Men aren't quite alien to it as they seem to be…But they might use it more in their professional life than their personal one…Women on the other hand are mostly keen on a man's love, a man's faithfulness, a man's incompetence to other women, It can even go to other women or young unmarried girls, Beauty, success…ect

Like you must definitely know BLACK Magic or VODOO is not a positive thing…It always has a tendency to strike the negative, the dark, the evil….But It so extreme and common in our part of the world that one day a local Imam went on national Television to talk about it for an hour…(That is after they found one of the beaches full of pictures, threads, names, incomprehensible phrases of thousands of people..) and now there is fine for people practicing it…(Yeah right! As if it is the easiest thing in the world to find a Salem witch in a dark alley or people's houses…)

Although A lot of times it might work on the "victim" in question …Here are 3 stories that didn't affect at all….( There is a light in the tunnel lol)

Story #1
A Family friend was married to this amazing career woman…Everything was doing great except for one thing…She was always on the move …She was sent to different places in the world…and her career was as important to her as her family…After some arguing , some nagging, some sulking…Our good man decided to take matters into his own hands…and traveled to Morocco to cast a spell on his wife….For her not to be that successful, not that competent and maybe change jobs so that she would be more at home…As soon as he came back…His Boss fired him for not having a 2 weeks "taking leave" notice…His wife had enough of him after a month and wanted a divorce…and he found himself taking a less competent job, more at home and alone….(I guess he forgot who to design the spell to…lol.)


Story #2
A Girl who I used to know back in High School met this unbelievable guy…They chatted on the phone for hours and after a couple of dates…decided to bind their lives together…The man in question came an proposed officially to her parents… They agreed. .. and everything was pink clouds and blue butterflies from there… One night the girl's family decided to go camping.. The girl in question excused herself from the little trip because she had one of those "terrible headaches"… The brother (There is always a brother who has to blow things up)…Figured there was something fishy going on and came back after a while to check on her…she was having a one to one with the "Fiancée" in question…Of course the marriage was off…and the girl was punished…So she decided with the help of her fiancée to cast a spell on her parents…So that they would go back on their word and marry her off…Since the girl was grounded the Fiancée took off to Oman to cast a spell on his in laws to be…He came back with a piece of paper with pink scripts written all over…The girl decided to put it in a drink…water didn't work cause the ink melted and it turned red…so she added some Grape juice on it…The parents drank the whole thing…and the next day The "ex-Fiancée" came in to propose again and test his luck..…He was told off…

Story #3
An old Egyptian Lady who worked in a local coffee shop came to a girl to read her fortune…as the girl sipped her Turkish coffee to the last drop.. The Old woman pondered and "read" her fortune by looking at the bottom of the cup (westerners use crystal ball and tarots, we use turkish coffee) …She told her word for word that There will be this amazing guy coming into her life…But that she has to be careful of her sister cause she would be extremely jealous of her and could ruin everything…The Girl went back home in a rage… stormed into her sister's room and beated the hell out of her…The mother sued the coffee shop for what the old lady did to her daughters…and the girl in question to this day do not speak to her sister thinking she was the reason to all her personal traumas.…

Moral of the stories: people…stop the ignorance and the "waste of time" and please change your destiny with your own hands…Cause in the end of the day that's what lasts!!!!!!.... Black magic always turns ugly sooner or later….(What goes around comes around) for real…..

Kisses

"Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are."

-Houssaye


In our lives we have all come across an "erotic" phase and got curious…whether its with erotic books…erotic paintings and sculptures…erotic videos….erotic food and spices…erotic positions and many more…

And like our friends the Indians with the famous Kama Sutra…we (the Arabs) did not sit and wait for our biological instincts to take over…but created or own book and style as well *

*The 15th century book "The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight " By Sheikh Muhammad Al Nafzawi…The translation of "Le Kama Sutra Arabe" by Malek Chebel...And the classic NON censured/ kiddy version of the 12 Volume book 1001 Nights.. Amazing Literature before tucking yourself to bed !!!!!!!.

But didn't you ever stop and wonder about the non erotic version???? The day to day affection ??? In other words kissing !!!!....It probably differs from a society to another… so why isn't there anything about it???....For example we are not very keen on public affection and sometimes may consider it disrespectful to the partner in question…. but in Europe especially in France you could stand in the middle of a store entrance and "make out" for hours….We might have our arms and hands on each other when alone but when in a gathering with friends and even family we barely hold hands….We are great enthusiasts and have a vivid imagination in Foreplay since most of the sexual intercourses happen after marriage….We are extremely romantic and during the "courtship" period do not find corny when your partner wrote a poem about you….Talks to you on the phone till daylight…showers you with gifts and flowers…Travels around the world to see you… or grabbed his Oud** to compose a tune for you…Some of them might even pay a famous singer to sing the song or poem…..We are also suckers for Forbidden and impossible relationships….And this goes back to Qays & Layla or Antar & Ablaa***…We could create 1000 ways to see each other as much as possible…We could also stop eating, sleeping and concentrating on work/studies for months….But we also fall out of Romance just as easily…

**One of the oldest oriental instruments that looks like a guitar but has a more oval shape…It has a heavenly sound and is also known as the Lute

*** Two of the most ancient oriental Love stories of All time…please refer to the end of my Post for more details…

So wouldn't it be great to know how people all over the world perceive a kiss...a hug…an affection..

Being the typical Mashael that I am… I did my own research and Here are the commentaries of some Saudis about their BEST kisses…Women were much more "babbling-about" than men in that one…but in both cases I kept names anonymous…

" My first kiss was incredible…I was 17 and was seeing that guy for a while…we met up in a coffee place and had the curtains*** shut on us to keep it intimate…As we talked I felt that he was going to lean over and kiss me…I really wanted to but I got nervous…so I covered my mouth with my veil…It didn't stop him he kissed me on it…slowly…I could feel the thin translucent cloth between us…the warmth of his lips and breath…It was so sensual that I barely noticed when he pulled it down slowly to grab my lips…." R. , female, 25 years old

*** In Saudi if you are a couple you could have a private dining with curtains pulled on you…kind of like V.I.P seats with your own waiter…

" I love it when she teases me by kissing and touching the corner of my lips with her tongue.. and when she draws the lines of my lips" M., male, 27 years old

" I had the biggest fight ever with my husband…and we barely talked to each other for two days…One morning he stormed in the kitchen while I was making breakfast for the kids…he grabbed my face ruthlessly… and kissed me selfishly…hard…scratching my face with his Italian beard…than he let go and went out.. I was left puzzled my lips tingling… wanting more…" J., Female, 33 years old

" I love kissing him when he has an apple flavored mouth…I want to suck the whole taste out of him…which made us use it in other body parts…" L., Female. 26 years old

"When she kisses my ear by nibbling my ear lobe and whispering to me with her sexy voice all the things she wants to do to me…It drives me crazy…" T., male, 23 years old

"My neck, my chin, the back of my neck, my collar bone and the pulse in the back of my hand …I am paralyzed with excitement" D., Female, 21 years old

"When she caresses me with her long soft hair and kisses all the parts that her hair caressed…It is extremely feminine and so sexy!" M., male, 35 years old

"When she tells me to stay still...and she barely touches my lips with hers...then as if it the most natural thing in the world she starts talking about her day...the up and down movement of her lips on mine and her warmth makes me loose all control...in less than a minute I give in" F., male, 27 years old

"When he caresses my face for hours…my lips, nose, eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks. Chin, forehead with his fingertips…my eyes closed… He then starts to smell me without touching me….I tremble so much with pleasure…that I open my eyes and kiss him passionately sometimes biting his lower lip" N., Female, 24 years old

"I married the guy who kissed me for an hour…our lips locked continously **** At first I felt dizzy from the lack of air…Now I can't get enough…" K, Female, 19 years old

**** The longest kiss listed in the Guinness Book of Records lasted 417 hours…I want to know these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"He kissed me after he drank an Arabic coffee…his taste was warm…boiling…I got addicted ..." H., Female, 22 years old

"The noises she makes when I kiss her…I pull her hair softly and kiss her deeper" My cousin, Male, 26 years old

Now It's YOUR turn bloggers…Here are some questions that could help…How was your first kiss? What do you NOT like when you kiss? What do you DO like? Which sort of kiss drove you crazy and who was it? What is the most original kiss you've experienced????? It would be nice to precise where you are from and to cut down the "anonymous" comments… I bet we would be surprised and could learn something….

With my best and sincere kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx lol

N.B: Qays& Layla = A story who goes back to the 7th century…and which inspired the famous Shakespearian Tale of Romeo and Juliet …Qays also know as Majnoun Layla (meaning: the mad or possessed about layla)…came from a different but quite wealthy tribe…He fell in love with Layla and started to shout her name in poetic verses as a declaration of Love…This move was unfavorable to him and was seen as a disgrace to their daughters at that time… which lead to the refusal of Layla's Father of a possible marriage between them…instead he married her off to another wealthy man which originally came from the city of Taif in Saudi Arabia (as it is known today)…From that day onwards…Qays lived like a wild beast in the desert…having illusions and talking to animals as if it was his lost love…His madness lead to his death…His best poems were dated at that period….It was told that Layla also suffered a great deal and refused herself to her husband…till her death…Their tombs were put next to each other and you can still visit it to this day…Some people say it was covered with personal items and jewelry of both tribes ( due to pre-Islamic death rituals) But most of them were stolen through the years….

Antar & Ablaa = Antar was the fruit of an African slave and her wealthy owner Shaddad…At a pre- Islamic time children of slaves were not recognized and were also considered slaves…But Antar was different he had a powerful strength and was taught by his uncle how to ride and fight…He was also in love with Ablaa…his cousin but also a fair and legitimate daughter…One day during a deadly war between tribes…His father ordered him to go and fight…He accepted but under one condition that he would be a free man and recognized as his own son…After much hesitation the Father agreed and Antar was known as Antar ben Shaddad from this day on (Antar son of Shaddad)…He also won the war…He naively thought that his freedom might help him in asking Ablaa's hand in marriage…They gave him false promises and sent him to various wars…His best poems of warfare and Love dated at that period…When he was absent…Ablaa was married off to a man from another tribe…It is said that Antar's anger grew in such rage that he stormed in the opposite tribe and killed most of their men….No one really knows what had happened after that…Some say he kidnapped Ablaa and married her and some say that he was killed and tortured to death for wanting a woman that was spoken for

The Gayer the Better

"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."

-Annette Funicello

This Post might lead to: 1- continuous insult and comments
2- A total shock leading to a heart attack
3- A total absurdity to your nervous system so you might have to read the post twice or blink several times
4- Me being exiled

But I was honest when I said in my first post (Intro)…I will reveal nothing but the facts…NOBODY knows Saudi Arabia except Saudi themselves ( i.e Saudis that live in the country)…The country is a closed one (personally I like it this way) The people will not open their homes to other communities…even less to foreigners…Therefore you have people like me…That are less reserved…. and more down to earth to tell you things exactly how they are…to open a door so that you can take a glance inside…For you to know…to think and analyze by yourself… without brain washing…to learn…and stop talking nonsense and being ignorant…

Media can talk all they want…Books can be printed by dozens from western authors…Clichés can be invented by the minute…even a foreigner that lived here for 45 years will not know the deepest of the deep....the truest of the truth… The homes…The families...The friction…The thoughts…The traditions…The history…The education…The life style…The real thing…The Saudi thing…

I agree it is not a very flattering subject…But it exists and should be said…Saudi Arabia like many countries of the world have a homosexual community whether it is male or female…But Saudi Arabia NOT like many countries keep it behind closed doors…But you can easily notify some of them with the following details: They have a sparkling white "Thob"* that screams Ariel Ultra intensive…Their moustache or gotties are perfect not a hair surpasses the other…They are usually extremely handsome…Their hands are soft…Their lips are pink and full…Their walk is posed, classy…Their voice is a low toned one…every week they have a day where they meet each other in a chosen place to do some harmless flirtation that might lead later on to a less harmless flirtation…How do I know? I was caught up in one of those places….In a Mall to be exact…I was surprised to find so many men…so many handsome men that is in one place…after a long long long looooong while I understood…( I could've walked around naked they wouldn't notice)…

* The traditional dress for men

The women on the other hand tend to have short boyish hair…several piercings…beautiful girlfriends…a lot of guy friends…Masculine walk…grave voice since a lot of them tend to be smokers…. sun or eye glasses on the tip of their noses…baggy jeans, bandanas with funky wide designer "Abbayas"** These are the obvious ones of course there are the less obvious…

** The traditional dress for women

How did it come to this…well it is NOT genetics…might be out of boredom or being extremely spoiled…might be a pshycological shock when a child...might be contacts are more with the same sex..(But that is not really an excuse since abroad you have contact with the opposite sex ALL the time…and they have as much homosexuals than here if not more…hmmmm…maybe that is why they turn gay…It is too easy and nothing is taboo anymore) anyway back to what I was saying…the other option is they were maybe raped in bathrooms and schools…it is horrid but it is true…Boys are much more vulnerable to this than girls…
Anyway the end result is they are gay…some families might not know about it…Some families do and have a terrible response to it…and some families (which is the majority) pretend they didn't notice and are happy as long as they obey by the rules, are respectful of society and culture***…i.e they get married, have children and live normally keeping their "other" life in the secrecy of the nights…

*** Of course as you all know homosexuality is forbidden in the Islamic religion (like in most religions) and if get caught might lead to death penalty…if get caught! (which happens very rarely)

My post isn't about gays but the response to people or specifically women to gay men (Cause the response of men to gay women isn't really an example since all they can think about is she and her girlfriends!!!! ) Like I said earlier a lot of homosexuals get married…and get married young (when they still can :p) 90% of the time the brides to be know and do not mind…Actually they have become in fashion…you will see why shortly…

Just the other day I was at a friend's wedding and her husband was as gay as it gets….."Jawad Ali"**** gay …I was in a state of shock....It was like the bride and the……..bride……..:p She on the other hand looked like she hadn't a care in the world…

****a famous singer in our country that looks and sounds completely gay…even George Michael appears manlier in front of him!

Gay men in Saudi Arabia (and other Middle Eastern countries) have a strong feeling of guilt…when they get married they feel very obliged to their wives for accepting them as they are…and when I say very obliged…I mean very veeeeeeeeeery obliged….They are generous to her needs and her wishes…She can be free to do whatever she wants with whomever she wants……They can help her out if she is a career woman in this man oriented country…They advise her and make great friends…They love her to death since she is and will be the ONLY woman in his life…They are so amazed in bringing children to the world that they are like a mother hen with her chicks……and THAT is why they are extremely in fashion…..Personally I have another wedding of that sort next week!!!!

In the end, these women can do whatever they want….BUT this girl right here is sticking to real men for now….!!!!!! x x x x

A jewish mother

London, Hakkasan a Chinese restaurant on 8 Hanway place ……At first impression when walking through the dark alley it looked as if you are entering "dealerville" But once inside it is a whole different story…It was my first time in this place and my friend insisted on taking me for a treat…p.s : the food was amazing!!!!!

Since the restaurant was maxi packed and we didn't have reservations thinking why bother! It's a Thursday night…We found ourselves waiting in the waiting area…in other words: the bar…

The design was funky, very modern , dark lightings but always hated those bar stools especially when I am wearing heels…I never knew how to adjust my body and my legs for that matter in a comfortable sitting position…Therefore I always had a foot on the ground and my… hmmmm… "behind" on the edge…not very sexy....anyway after exactly 15 min of waiting my friend thought it was ridiculous to wait that long for food and decided to take action by going to plan B…tipping for sitting…

Personally I am not very good with these things…I don't know when to do it and how discreetly I should do it…How much its too much...and if it’s the right person to "do" it to…But I have noticed in a lot of places if the "host" in question is a she and you are with a male companion than you would have a place easily…If it is a bunch of guys it is very very "easily"…But if you are just girls than they make you wait a bit longer and if you are just girls with gifted appearances than forget it….you would be waiting at the "waiting area" for ever or at least an hour….
Anyway as my friend pushed her way through to the entrance… I looked around…Just for the sake of looking around…You know when you are looking but not really looking…As if you were searching for a way to keep yourself busy…yes that!....

So like I was saying…as I looked around…my eyes locked with a young man standing next to me…He smiled….I smiled back….I didn't see it at first but an older woman was sitting next to him in one of those stools as well….Must have been his mother…I turned my head and looked the other way….
She must have paid attention cause the next thing I know she was talking to me..
"Such a lovely girl.. isn't she David?"
"Yes… very…"
She had a strange accent…couldn't figure it out really…I got a bit embarrassed and murmured a quick thank you…
"Are you from here?" The lady was talking to me again
"Oh God no!.... I am Saudi" I love it when I say that…with a cheeky smile and one eye brow way high ( I know I am typical najdiya..lol)…and I love the effect it has on people…whether it is surprise…interest…admiration or even fear…Like and old American friend used to say " you Osama ben Laden girl!"..lol

The lady looked at me with interest…as if I was a lab rat with a new mutation…
"Very Interesting…" she smiled and said with her weird accent…
"Where are you from?" I asked
"Israel…." I backed up and starred at her nose from a natural reflex…It is not that I have never seen Jews in my life before or talked to some of them…Actually there are always around or in Arab crowds… Some of them you might know about and some of them not…Some of them that look like one and some not…But it was the first time I talked to one from the "I" word…

"Oh how nice….!" I never worked so hard on giving an answer or smiling in my whole life…This time I really looked around in search of my friend who has literally disappeared….

"You live here?" I can't believe it she is still talking…
"Actually No… I am just here for visiting…."
"My son lives here…He went to Imperial and now he works in the family business…I came to see him…Maybe he can show you around?"

I couldn't believe it this woman was matchmaking me with her SON!!!!!… She must be schizophrenic…or was so bored and decided to make a joke….or she is the smartest most intelligent woman I have ever met….

"No thank you…I am here with family and friends…and besides I am not staying very long…"
"Can I still have your number…I might give you a call and invite you to dinner or a drink somewhere…" This time the son spoke…

I was speechless…

That’s when my friend decided to pop in and say " Yalla (meaning : come on) Mashael..we have our table!" I never was so pleased too see her in my whole life…and never ever has she had a most perfect timing…I grabbed my bag…and looked at the pair "It was very nice meeting you…Have a lovely evening!" Being my mother's daughter I HAD to be polite…
And I rushed behind my friend never looking back….

The Mecca

Belated Eid Mubarak to all "Ba3d al za7ma" (meaning after the crowd)….lol.....I hope you got a lot of goodies and a lot of pocket money from parents and spouses…I know I did….being the only girl in a family of boys and spoiled to death….lol

I am sorry for not keeping you updated but obviously I was away for a couple of days and I think you guessed where to….(duh ! since I put it in BIG fluorescent GREEN letters at the very top!!!!)…..Mecca…
I was so touched by this year's experience (and still am) that I HAD to share it with you guys…

Since I was a little girl the last ten days of Ramadan has been spent in one of the holiest places: Mecca…But UNLIKE when I was little girl I can't run to the black stone * anymore kissing it as if it was my favorite (one eye left) doll …Nor can I zigzag through the red brick Ottoman arches and then climb onto the golden gates** ……Nor can I run around and around and around chasing pigeons till my head spins while my mother prays or performs the Umra***….Nowadays, I am lucky if I do see the Kaa'ba (the house of god on earth for Muslims which was at ancient times also a place of worship and used as a temple) even less the black stone….

* A stone that is stuck to a corner of the Kaa'ba.. Historically, it is the first stone that Ibrahim& his son Ismael used to build the Kaa'ba…Scientifically, it contains unique materials or minerals that doesn't exist till this day…Spiritually, It is said to be a meteorite from the heavens above, it is also believed that it has the power to cleanse worshippers of their sins by absorbing them into itself. They say that the Black Stone was once a pure and dazzling white and it has turned black because of the sins it has absorbed over the years….Now I guess it is just super duper pitch black….

**These are the doors that marks the entry to the Kaa'ba but they are permanently closed ONLY if you are lucky to be there when they clean it once a year…

*** The mini pilgrimage which includes 7 rounds around the Kaa'ba anti clockwise and the "to" and "from" of the two mountains Safaa and Marwa..

This year including me (bloggers who watched the Saudi TV through the whole month… I was the gorgeous one wearing black with blue stripes :p) anyway including me there was at least 3 million people… yes you read that right…3 MILLION people mashalla!!!! (meaning God does as he pleases)…

A quick reminder: praying the 10 last days of Ramadan seeking "Laylat Al Qadr"**** is NOT a must or a pillar of Islam like Hajj (the main pilgrimage) that CNN people love to show again and again sometimes… It is only a Sunna meaning something the prophet used to do but you don't have to do it…soooooo this year there were 3 MILLION people doing something they do not have to do…

**** Meaning the "Night of power": It is one of the 10 last nights of Ramadan...But we are not too sure which one….Some people think it's the 21st or 23rd or 25th or 27th or 29th of Ramadan… whoever attains the blessings of this holy night should attain perfect power in his spiritual life, its value is more than one thousand months of worshipping and all your prayers are granted…

Do you actually picture 3 million EXCLUDING the habitants of Mecca which are approx. 1.4 million in a small city…It is needless to say that cars where parked at the city's gate and people were actually praying in the streets…There was no more room in the extended 3 floors marbled mosque surrounding the Kaa'ba…nor around it….nor between the buildings and small streets…nor after the buildings and small streets….So it had to be the main streets till the city's gate….As I looked down to all these people that came from across the nations… while they moved harmonically… prostrating together in a moment of silence….Foreheads on the carpeted floor… delivering themselves from the burden on their shoulders till the first signs of light appear in the velvety sky…speaking different languages…some of them not even understanding what the imam chants…But crying at his tone of voice and his prayers…I couldn't help but wonder…No wonder they envy us and are trying to kill us, humiliate us, imprison us every where in the world…Even "I " envy us….If I were them I wouldn't care how much petrol a country has…nor gold…nor precious stones…nor gas…nor history or culture…But how much faith…How much unshakeable faith it has…and maybe that is their main incomprehension...

A total incomprehension of why is this holy place forbidden to non Muslims? Why the few "spies" through history that came in as fake Muslims went back as real ones? Why do millions come every year hoping to die while performing pilgrimage and if not come back the next year? What is so special about Islam that it has the biggest numbers of believers in the world? Why a poor man who has nothing to eat shares his piece of bread and dates with a complete stranger? Why some powerful people in this country have their homes open 24/7 for people to come in…eat, drink, pray and rest? Why do people spend millions everyday on other people behind no motif such as being known publicly as a good man or escaping taxes? Why don't we have taxes? Why don't we have a "Madonna" to advertise our beliefs or a "Hilary Clinton" that encourages us to cry on our walls? Why is the president of a country praying next to the popper in the street? Why don't we even notice or care that presidents, kings, queens bend their heads with us? Why are we increasing even with the lack of brain wash from media and movies? Why don't we fight for land, power or money like the rest of the world? Why are we willing to fight and die for faith whether it is right or wrong? Why aren't we afraid of death? …

This incomprehension leads to wars… freezing bank accounts in the name of terrorism…stopping charity cases under the same name…imprisoning whoever is a bit religious or looks like one…killing innocents… exterminating new generations…Having an uncontrollable feeling of destroying the unreasonable, the illogical , the unknown…

But for every action there is a reaction…and this year our reaction was this…with every injustice in the world there will be a million more new Muslims….coming to pray…to forget…to surrender…to cry…to feel strong…to feel as one…

" اللهم احفظ هذا البلد آمناً مطمئناً ....و سائر بلاد المسلمين......آمين"

What is said in Closed Circles!

The intelligent person sees with the heart the result from the beginning;the one lacking in knowledge only discovers it at the end.

-Mathnawi [V, 2570]

This is supposed to be TOP SECRET and revealed to NO ONE… But us Saudis But being the amazing Mashael that I am…. I am going to share it with you guys….so we will keep it between us and the whole Blogosphere…lol

This post is a result of soul baring confessions, non stop gossip and goose bumpy experiences of Saudi men and women over the years…You will know exactly their deepest desires, their secrets, their tastes and their shameless thoughts…These are only said in closed circles… Saudis themselves might get shocked when seeing it in print or how the opposite sex thinks… Of course I couldn't resist filtering the ideas through the supreme judges (me and my girls) and that is what came out of it….Please note that these are general statistics…let me rephrase that GENERAL STATISTICS...so it is quite common to find a few exceptions…

You must know by now (if not then read my blog all over again) that Saudis are quite racist when it comes to bind themselves in holy Matrimony….But of course there has been a few mixed marriages over the years and even more recently….Therefore do not be surprised to find Dark skinned, olive skinned, fair skinned, Big eyes, small eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes, Blue eyes, Chinese eyes, blondes (yes we have natural blondes and no we are not going to pay the amount of 10 camels if we see a blonde from Europe…From all the clichés about us that is the most ridiculous people!!!!) Chesnut Brunettes, Black version brunettes (we still do not have redheads…personally I have never seen one here) coming up to you one day and saying " Hi, I am from Saudi Arabia " which probably is a good thing….

That is why I am going to tell you what Saudis go for, if by any chance they are not involved with another Saudi…

Let us start with Saudi women....

Arab men:

1st position= Iraqis…meaning men from Iraq…For the following reasons…They are considered one of the very few viril alpha males that exist in our world today if not the only!!!!…which makes us feel terribly feminine and vulnerable…They come from one of the oldest and greatest civilizations….They tend to be extremely educated and cultivated….
2nd position = Iraqis again for the same reasons mentioned above…
3rd position = Emiratis…meaning men from UAE…For the following reasons…They tend to be EXTREMELY gorgeous and EXTREMELY generous…They have nothing underneath their traditional " Thobs" except for a piece of cloth that they call "Hizar" = easy access…!!!! A bit like the Scotts and their skirts (Although I think they wear something underneath that…enlighten me people!!! Lol )….. They are a bit slow on the bright side but have a heart of Gold…
4th position = Lebanese… meaning men from Lebanon…For the following reasons…They are very trendy…They tend to speak different languages…They look European…although their Star is starting to fall do to an extent on their feminine side…
5th position = Qataris…meaning men from Qatar…For the following reasons…Half of the population is already Saudi they just crossed the border that is all…The country is still under construction so we have a feeling that we bought the civilization and our classy way of living TO them…
6th position = Bahrainis…meaning men from Bahrain…For the following reasons…They are considered Saudis number 2…we spend most of our weekends in their country…They tend to have similar backgrounds…we feel in power…
7th position = Kuwaitis… meaning men from Kuwait…They are street smart…They are energetic buzzy bees…(actually Kuwait is one of the few middle eastern countries where the streets are packed starting 7 or 6 a.m till 2 a.m )…They know what they want and go for it…

Of course other Arab countries exist but they are not that popular among Saudi women but like I said earlier there might be a few exceptions…e.g Amrou Diab (a famous egyptian singer) married a Saudi

Non Arab men: ( I can feel the anxiety ….lol)

1st position= Italians and Spanish…although They come from completely different countries, different languages, different lifestyles and even different menus…We consider them as one…For the following reasons…They are dark and tend to have Arabic features…They are family oriented…They are " caliente" (meaning hot) …They like food in quantity…They have a night life and they do not have a strict timetable for their daily lifestyle or chores….
2nd position = Americans… meaning men from the United States of America….For the following reasons…They are circumcised at birth…Back in the days, they were the most powerful country in the world and the place to be…They were in our part of the world and still are, so we got used to them…They have no rights whatsoever compared to their women… So they tend to be extremely surprised, affectionate, grateful and caring when we take care of them and let them be the man of the house…They make great fathers…
3rd position = Germans, Swiss Germans, Austrians…Although completely different we consider them as one because of the language…We tend to have most of our medical check ups in their country so we figured better be with your life savior…They have a terrible attraction to oriental, big eyes, dark haired women…They would happily integrate by learning the language* and knowing the culture…
* Germans are one of the few Europeans that speak several languages without a strong accent and without much effort…
4th position = French…meaning men from France…For the following reasons…They have a great mixtures with the North African countries…Their music is 60% Rai and 30% French…so we get to understand a few words…Because of the mixture they became open minded…Tall…extremely beautiful and more tolerant via other cultures…

Unfortunately, other European/Asian countries are not considered at all….Although Canadians and Australians might be an option when the Saudi woman in question lives there for whatever reason and can't be bothered to mingle with the rest of the world…



Saudi men…

Arab women:

1st position = Moroccans… meaning women from Morocco…For the following reasons…They are said to be good in bed (among other things) …The ones that Saudi men go for look EXACTLY like Saudi women…They can integrate easily in the country, dialect and culture as if she was born here…
2nd position = Moroccans again for the same reasons mentioned above…
3rd position = Syrians…meaning women from Syria…For the following reasons… They tend to be beautiful….They have porcelain skin….They are quite low profile….They look very innocent but aren't at all….
4th position = Egyptians…meaning women from Egypt…For the following reasons…They are amazing sweet talkers…Life with them is fun…They are good at belly dancing…They remind us of the old black and white romantic comedy Egyptian movies…
5th position = Emiratiat…meaning women from UAE…For the following reasons…They are quite primitive…so everything that the Saudi man will show her will be fascinating….One of our celebrity bachelor married one so they became in fashion…They only think about one thing…They have long velvety hair and they can dance with it…
6th position = Bahrainiat or Kuwaitiyat…meaning women from Bahrain or Kuwait…They tend to be educated but that is not the reason why Saudi men go for them….maybe because they are our neighbours?...Hmmm…I am not too sure…will skip that one
7th position = Pakistaniat…meaning women from Pakistan….For the following reasons…They tend to be very feminine…They have a fascination for the Arabic speaking countries…They remind us of Bollywood although the latter is Indian…

Of course other Arab women from other countries are also considered… like Lebanese, Iraqis, Jordanian and Palestinians... But they are quite rare, since for example Lebanese women tend to be beautiful but extremely superficial, very modern and "show off"… knowing Saudi men, they tend to go for more reserved, low profile women with a spot light smaller than theirs (That is why Syrians are so popular) Although Kuwaiti men tend to prefer Lebanese women for the same exact reasons mentioned above…. A question of society and taste…

Non Arab women:

1st position = Indonesians…meaning women from Indonesia… For the following reasons…In most cases they tend be their children's nannies…They know how to cook clean and do all the hously chores…They like to flirt with their bosses and They can't live without " Some of that"…They tend to be petite which leads to a feeling of protection from our heroic Saudi men….
2nd position = "7abash" meaning women from Ethiopia…For the following reasons…They are quite numerous in number within every Hajj (pilgrimage) period we tend to have a new wave…They are the "first times" for a lot of our Saudi men…They are very unconscious…
3rd position = Italians…meaning women from Italy…For the following reasons…They are family oriented…They can make good housewives and good cooks…They always have that mythical aura to be the sexiest women in Europe.. Since most Italian men tend to slap them around in a moment of anger…They tend to be relieved by the non violent nature of Saudi men in general…
4th position = Spanish or South American….please note that women from Spain or South America come after the Italians in a Saudi man point of view…and they have the same reasons as Saudi women to go for them..so go back to 1st position non Arab men…
5th position = Russians or Eastern Europeans… For the following reasons ... They look like they were cut and pasted from Fashion TV… They tend to go for whomever will marry them to get out of there…They are quite docile and obedient (Their men might have something to do with that)
6th position = Americans.... meaning women from the United States of America…For the following reasons… They tend to be their university "partners" when they were in college… They are quite spontaneous and easy going…Although their Star is starting to fall dramatically post 9/11 & The wars in the Middle East ….Also because they have a contagious tendency to sue for everything….. e.g. being caressed or cuddled without their consent or the morning coffee is too hot…
7th position = Japanese…meaning women from Japan…for the following reasons…They are very reserved… They are spotless when it comes to cleaning and hygiene… They have narrow female parts compared to the Arab male counterparts…They easily give their man some space and know their place…They look like little girls…

Of course other countries may be considered…Saudi men are more tolerant and less racist when it comes to relationships than their women mainly because they are less restricted by families, religion, law, society and even government…But Saudi women would go for it if she finds that the "foreigner" in question surpasses her men compatriots in every way…

On that joyful note I sign out….peace x x x

Are married men safer?

Men:
At 20: They don't know what they want
At 30: They know what they DON'T want
At 40: They know at last what they want
At 50: They don't want to know anything
At any age: They think they know what we want

Women:
At 20: They want everything
At 30: They hope for everything
At 40: They know everything
At 50: They finally understand everything

I read it in a book somewhere….


8’clock in the morning... work.....

I felt a bit drowsy …I am having once again those sleeping phases : I am extremely tired once I go to bed and then suddenly I wake up in the middle of the night.. Like a possessed woman...

Ok... let’s get one thing clear here... I am not really "possessed" It is just an expression for all you jinni-ghostly-the evil eye believers out there...and besides with all the Sourats of the “Cow” * I put in my room...you really have to be a huge mean ugly jinni to pass though the door..

I know...I am loosing it...

* please note that the Sourat of the "cow" is believed to a lot of Muslims to be a good antidote for the evil eye, evil spirit and black magic (yes it still exists and is very present in our part of the world and will talk about it soon in my blog)

Well...like I said, I felt a bit drowsy and since my boss was not here to order me around...I was at peace for a while...

My "work" partner Sita popped in like she always do...she is one of those people you turn around and see in front of your face in the blink of an eye...

At first it freaked me out since I am short sighted and seeing just two sleekly eyes out of a covered face** is too much to handle before my morning coffee...but then I got used to it…

**A fact: some girls cover their faces at work and some don't…some do it as a part of tradition and some do it as a way not to be known when she is out partying, on holidays or is simply "chilling" …

“Halla (meaning: hi) Masha Habibti (meaning: darling)...how was your weekend????…”

“Okay”

Kiss...kiss...kiss on the right cheek

“No sleep again?...”

No kiss on the left…

“Hmmm…I don’t know what is wrong with me”

“Maybe you think too much...”

WHY when something gets out of hand suddenly it's “I think too much”???? Then I get this pitiful you- are- not –alone- in- your- misery-tell -me –what’s –wrong look… Even if it is true... shouldn’t I be tired cause yesterday for example I had the time of my life and I was surrounded by beautiful faces and incredible smiles!!!!!..

No comment...

“Wanna grab some coffee and sit on the coaches outside?” *** I ended up asking...

***Before I get insulted, banned from society and thrown at w/ cucumbers and lettuces please note that this post happened before Ramadan

“Fine with me!!!!”

I like these moments of self meditation while sipping our DR. Dre skimmed milk caramel topping Café latté... cause that is all we end up doing Sita and me in our free time... and besides I had a particular research in mind...

“Hey Sita! If this amazing guy comes to you...and you have this incredible connection and everything is right and perfect...but then you found out that he is married with two kids and might have one on the way… Would you still marry him or forget about the whole thing ????”

“Good morning....Where did that come from?!!!”

“Just a simple question…”

For all of you non-Islamic and “cool every Arab has a harem out there!!!”...Let’s clarify some basic principles…it is normal or let’s say it is legal for a guy to have 4 wives...but that is not really the “Vogue” here.. Cause you have to treat them equally: FINANCIALLY and PHYSICALLY...

And how many guys do we actually know that can do that for ONE SINGLE person???...so let us not start with four!!!!!..

“Well it is kind of hard to say...I myself I am the daughter of THE second wife...and my mom is much younger than my dad...” Sita confessed…

The second wife factor… and interesting theory...It usually involves middle aged men…that got married off early by their mothers to (in most cases) their cousins…because she gets along with the mother in law or it is her sister's daughter or she wants to keep the heritage in the family or she just wants grand children that are a perfect genetic clone of herself and (in most cases) mutated….

It is important to know that some mothers in the Middle East especially in Saudi like (let me rephrase that) LOVE to be the center of attention and devotion of their sons….If horrors of horrors the "son" in question falls in love…She might do everything in her power to break off the engagement or marriage…A lot of times it works…even if there is nothing wrong with the girl…Feelings shouldn't be involved… The more uninterested he is of his wife the more the mother loves her daughter in law….It is very perverted but it is true in every possible way…

Back to my point… middle aged men are usually the ones that get married again… maybe because they want to feel younger …or maybe because at this stage of their life they know what they want and are less influenced by their mothers…or maybe simply because they found the love of their life…the woman they click with intellectually, physically and emotionally…

Sita's mom on the other hand is another story...her mom ended up educating the whole family her own kids and the former wife’s kids...which made me think ( H-E-L-LOOOOOOO?????!!!!) but hey who am I to judge????..

“So would you go for a guy like that?” I asked

“I really don’t know... I have to be in the situation...”

Ok...that is not really helping...

“I am not a “Kid” person to tell you the truth and if the guy comes with baggage... doesn’t work for me...” Answered my 30 soon turning 31 unmarried friend Aseer when I popped the question...

“Even if you asked for divorce? And would you do that?”

“Oh yeah … definitely ... I am not the sharing type ... and besides I told you I won’t go for it... I’d rather be alone... It is like this see... I am not willing to “Asoum oua asoum oua asoum 3ashan iftar 3ala basala" (meaning :to fast all this time to end up eating an onion).

Hmmm… if she puts it that way...!!!

I went back home puzzled... How many girls would actually settle in their early twenty’s and even in their late teens for a married guy?

“Loads...” answered my second wife to be cousin barely 23...

“Yeah...why?”

“Well Masha... it is quite simple... it depends on what you really want from life... a married guy usually is more mature… even if he is young cause somebody else did all the work for you.. So when you actually end up with him he knows what to do and brings you security, happiness and all you need without you screaming for it... Take my Badr for example… he loves me to bits since he is the one who chose me and not the mother that bought him his first wife !!!”

Clearly the woman has issues with her future mother in law..

“And besides" she added " You don’t want a guy stuck to you 24/7 do you?? You have to have your own life make your own plans and achieve your ambitions... And it is soooooooo hard to do that with a single guy because he takes all your energy...”

Hmmm ... got a point there...

I mean … Single guys are so fussy these days that they actually think they are God... Maybe because there are 50 girls on a guy... even if the latter looks like hippopotamus …And they did actually say (recently in a review) that the Y chromosome is shrinking and in X hundred years the male species will be practically extinct…. Trust me! that’s not something guys would feel bad about...

But...if you fall in love with a married guy and you ended up marrying him...Aren’t you the OTHER woman??? The " B" that stole him away ???? Even if he is miserable and he and his wife detest each other and are leading separate lives... (Which most of the time they are)… You are still the evil witch that cast a spell on him… Is it worth all the hassle for one man?

Is a married man really safe?

A Frenchie in town....(Part II)

I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.

-Dr. Seuss

Here it is the story you have all been waiting for….I will go back to where I left it…

Oh this is not good at all…my being polite/social scenario is turning into a nightmare…What will I do? Where do I go? Who should I talk to? Who do I know?…..And there was light!!!!!!!!!!!!!…Daili Lama….

(Nooooo not the guy that that sits in a mountain with an orange robe meditating on the complexity of the human soul)….But my friend Lama…we call her Daili the Mighty Lama…Since she is the wisest (not too sure about that) most experienced and the OLDEST of us all….If she knows I used the "O" word she would exterminate me like a black fly on her chocolate soufflee…As long as we can remember: Lama is 29….and tends to be that way for the rest of her life….

Anyway had to call her…She might help….I can't do this alone…and I can't pretend Eloi doesn't exist and that he had the wrong number (why didn't I think of that earlier)…and I definitely utterly horribly UNIMAGINABLY can't invite him home for a welcoming meal….I am afraid if I asked my dad he would go spontaneously death…..

But usually that is what we normally do…with family friends and others….and the ONLY foreigners that saw our welcome mat on the doorway were doctors…Bankers…and maybe gay interior designers….(hmmm that could be a plan)….Nah…. He doesn't look gay enough….And too risky…..

I hate it I hate it I hate it…Cause I can feel the guilt overwhelming me if I just ignored him or told him to "bogger off"… Me being Arab and Saudi and all…. And my "host" genes switched fully on….I just can't do it…Damn genes….Damn Damn Damn…….(sorry to all sensitive ears and PG 12….I am usually a very refined person )

Anyway had to tell Lama…She will figure something out….

She did…(not figure something out) but suggested coming with us and being the guide tour…She thought that it was "marra" (meaning: very) exciting and the thought of practicing her French…(which resumed to: je m'appelle Lama… je suis celibataire… je suis saoudienne *) made her jump for joy and plan her days to come….I don't think she understands the seriousness of my situation over here….If I get caught by any member or relation or anyone that BREATHES the same air as my family be it man…woman... children…plants….trees…cats and even dogs…I will be shesh kabab for supper…

So what did I exactly do?….I went and met Eloi with Lama…

* " My name is Lama…I am single…I am Saudi…" She thought it was more than enough to get her what she wants with who she wants in whatever French city she wants…

At Eloi's Hotel…

" Oh mon dieu ! (meaning: oh my god!) Masha you become zo pretty and zo tall!"
"Well that’s what 7alib Nido** does to a girl!"
"Vat?"
"Forget it! I am just being silly"

** 7alib Nido meaning milk Nido…It is usually a powder milk drank by babies and was for a long time the main (if not the only) advertisement on Saudi TV

Masha this is not the time for a comedy routine…Everybody in the hotel lobby is starring and Lama is reaaaaaally not helping by drawling over the guy…I am really nervous about the whole thing….But I must confess he changed so much from the skinny little boy with a Lacoste jacket over his shoulders…Hmmm they are creating them pretty good over there…Oh god! This is soooooooo not the time…

Eloi on the other hand was like in a world of his own…He wanted me to cover my face (I don't usually do) to see the Shahrazad version of me…The eyes and the veil its like a fantasy to these people…and I had to do it 456 times a day…just for him to think he is Lawrence of Arabia…ahhhh….The simple things in life….

He also started talking about his impressions of the country…How his work colleagues were nice and how the whole society is so different and fascinating…He also found my crystal designs in the back really cool and started to touch my Abbaya…I don't know what happened to me but I snapped "Ok….Eloi …Here you shouldn't really touch in public…ok?…BAD…BAD to touch in public!!!"
" Oh bien sur! (meaning: of course) I underztand…"
" 7'awaftih Meskin……ya 7elelo! (meaning: you scared him poor thing…he's so cute!)" Of course that was Lama' remark….This girl is really getting on my nerves with her "being very sweet and feminine" act…But I must admit she was a great help in the touristic tour…I am beginning to discover my own country…(oh please give me a break!!!!)…. How many people around the world do you actually know that know their own country and even less there own city…...5 ?

Anyway Like I said I was beginning to discover my own city…We went to all the historical places like "Al Dir'iyyah" which showed the roots and history of Saudi Arabia as well as an insight into the way of life in the region in the late 18th and early 19th century…"Al MusMak Fort" and the Ruler's Palace District …The National museum…and….hmmm…I think that’s about it…lol….

If you have told me a couple of months ago that I would find myself in the middle of the afternoon…in the middle of nowhere…exploring hidden treasures…I would have burst out laughing…but here I am…A F***Archeologist…….(sorry again to all sensitive ears and PG 12…. )

Of course restaurants…Faysaliah globe and shopping centers were on the menu as well…The funny part is…we had no trouble walking around with Eloi…I mean we were not stopped…or questioned or compromised in any situation (only starred at by women who were desperately tying to figure out what was the connection here or because they just wanted to stare) But seriously it actually was very weird…It was like.. yeah you can go in and hang out …yeah no problem he can go in the family section ALONE and meet you guys up….I mean are male foreigners not considered men? Are they not threatening enough? Are they not virile enough? A lot of our security guards and male compatriots tend to think so…
It reminds me of an incident that happened to a friend of mine…I was at her place in London and she was changing in the bathroom with the windows wide open…I pointed at the building facing us…and told her that she better close the windows cause people might be watching…she was like " Nah….there only british!" As if she was saying "Nah! They can't get excited!" Or "Nah! They're gay!!!!...." lol :) it is actually hilarious….

Anway...back to my story…

One night Eloi wanted to invite us in a restaurant to thank us for our hospitality…(he wanted to stay a few more days but I persuaded him to check out Jeddah ..A beautiful city on the red sea…ideal for scuba diving…Cause another day of sneaking and playing hide and seek with the driver is more than I could bare)

We went to the restaurant "Entrecote"… we thought it would be a nice gesture to take him to the famous French steak house with a breathtaking view of Riyadh…And we thought right…He couldn't believe it…and neither the girls sitting next to us….
" Tefakary enhom mdayateen ? (meaning: Do you think they are on a date?)"
" La La…ouja3 m3a thnenhom? ..Bes Allahou a3lam ! (meaning: No no..I don't think so..with both of them? But you never know!)"
" bes hou yihabel! (meaning: he is really cute!)"
" eeeehhh….bas sa3ba sara7a hathola mou mtahirin!!!! (meaning: yes…but it is really hard to be with someone like that…these people are not circumcised !)"

I nearly chocked on my grape juice…lol…poor Eloi they don't even know his name and they already went down his pants…lol…Lama starred at me with a (should- I –teach-them-a-lesson) look… I just shook my head.. It was not worth it…

" esma3i ana lazem arou7..Alwaaled jay bas eg3edi enti ma3a alFarensi (meaning: I've got to go..my father is coming but you stay here with the French guy) " That was me…I have to admit and never thought of it till I saw it in print…Saudis have a tendency to drop names when it comes to foreigners and keep the nationality…like "I am with the American will talk to you later…" forget " I am with John will talk to you later.."

We even do that to other middle eastern countries like " Wen al Bahraini? (meaning: where is the Bahraini?)" Another fact that emphasizes on thinking ourselves the center of the universe…

As I said goodbye to Eloi by giving my hand cause he was going to jump and kiss me… (No you perveted bloggers not a French kiss!!!! ) but the kiss on the cheeks thing… It is a very common thing in France…Anyway as I said goodbye and went back home… I couldn't help but smile…It was an experience I never thought I would have here in my homeland…But it was different and it was nice….

That doesn't mean it is ok to visit Masha in Riyadh…NO!!!!!...BAD…BAD to visit Masha in Riyadh!!!!! Never again….:)

Ramadan Karim!!!

This is a quick post for all my muslim bloggers to wish them a "Ramadan Mubarak"….May all your prayers be granted in this holy month x x x x x x x x
To all you people who are doing it for detoxing "Happy Detox" and to all you people who are not doing it well "Happy September"…..

Anyway Ramadan was always (for me) an exciting month…For the following reasons: The night life is fantastic…The country switches programs and everything is open till 5 a.m….The food gets much better…Our cook starts having a wild imagination (with the nagging of my mom) and we get to have varieties…. The sambousas* are back on the menu ….And god knows how I LOVE to stuff myself with them…Social life and family reunions are basically on daily basis…..My brothers get really aggressive (They are smokers) so we shouldn't talk, interact, approach them till they have their first cigarette…you get a cut down of cigarettes and other "addictive substances" without a patch stuck to your forehead…You get a cleansing process of the soul, Body, mind and spirit for free….It is a nice change from "earthly" desires, who knows? Might find that center of calm and serenity after all..."Tash ma Tash" ** is back….My working hours are cut to 5 instead of 10…a bliss! ..... I get to wear the jalabiyat*** and have natural A/C flowing through my body for a whole month (and of course it is an amazing way to cover that little tummy of yours when it pops out and says hello after the first meal)….another bliss!!...But will definitely have more difficulty slipping into my jeans after the month passes by…. Can go out at 11:00 P.M without giving a reason….Can sleep till 3:00 P.M without giving a reason as well….We get to travel to Jeddah…and will get to have more time to write to you guys!!!!!

I know you are all waiting for Frenshie in town part II…it is coming very soon…promise…x x x

* It is a pastry that is usually stuffed with meat, spinach or cheese…It can be fried or cooked in the oven…if you never tried it I would definitely suggest popping out to your local Arabic supermarket and get some…
** It is a Saudi comedy series (that comes every Ramadan) and talks about our society and social life in hilarious ways….
*** It is a sort of a one piece traditional cloth/dress…usually covered with motifs, broderies and colours …To all my female bloggers and weird guys who would like to try it if you live in Riyadh check out Harvey nicks 2nd floor they have the funkiest jalabiyats ever from Bahraini, Moroccan and Saudi designers…..The prices are not cheap but they are worth it….(these people have to pay me for that advertisement in my oh-my-so famous- blog…… lol )

p.s: happy national day to all saudis (Erfa3 Rasek anta sou30udi) !!!!!!.......lol

A Frenchie in town…(part I)

No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.

-Althea Gibson

I am writing this post...because the previous post still hurts...so it is my way to keep my mind of things...But please don't hesitate to comment on both...It might help me move on...thanks...love you all x x x x

This story will be held in two parts since you have to know the beginning….(how it all started) and the end…(how it all ended..duh!)

Anyway it was my 13 birthday and my parents sent us away (my brother and I) to a summer school in the states B.C. (before crash..the 9/11 one)..We never went back A.C…. since it was too much to handle for my mom to see the security guard looking through her make up bag for an hour…

Like I was saying my parents sent us away for two major reasons…1) to get rid of us…2) To not see us for a whole month and get rid of us…
I was quite glad though… I love new experiences and this one seemed promising….My brother was not that enthusiastic…He was in his aggressive phase and tried desperately to get a full "saksouka" meaning "gottie" from his scarce facial hair by shaving every single morning…(not happening!!!!) and plus he was moaning through the whole flight about not seeing his "shila" meaning "gang" for a whole month….
"wija3 benetfash!!!"….meaning "damm we're gonna be so bored"…

Must be really hard to be a teen when you are a guy….I mean I thought we had trouble but jeeez…you people are worse…with the mood swings and the facial hair and the uncontrollable........................ok you got the picture…

Anyway I loved the school and I loved my roommates even more….But I didn't get to see my brother often…Seeing that I was younger…I was put in another department…At first it kind of scared me…But soon enough I was having so much fun that I forgot all about him…Except when he came to pat me on the head and check my physical state... then I would leave everything to go and sit with him…

It is funny but since that young age I always got my ways with men…My brothers were not as different as the others…My family has the strictest macho guys you have ever seen…It is all a question of ego and making them feel needed…I always got my way softly& femininely by making them think it was their way…very simple and always works..…

Anyway it was in this school that I met Eloi .…My French friend to be…According to him he is grounded because of his grades…Therefore his parents sent him to the states to punish him..(Talk about a punishment)…lol

"I haaate it heeere Masha..it iz horribol…I am living in a tuna can and ze water of ze shower is not calcareous.. yesterday, I stayed in ze putain (meaning f***) shower for an hour to remove ze soap…Tu te rends comptes? ( meaning can you imagine?) when I tink dat I could be wid my cousins in La Cote D'azur a ce moment (meaning In that moment)!!!! "

Yes he was a "walad mama" meaning "mommy's boy" and yes he was always complaining but I adored him…he made me laugh with that cute accent of his…

"Just go and make friends…of course you wont like it if you shut everybody out…go…talk to people…improve your English…lol!!!"

"hahaha..verrry funny..how can you talk to diz peopol ...zey have notiiing to talk about…zey are prehistoric men…zey do not know anything…look at dem over dere…Look! do you think dat iz normale (meaning normal)?" He pointed out at a bunch of guys playing American football beating each other up in the mud….lol…I couldn't stop laughing….he's got a point there...

Needless to say he bought a fridge to buy food and stuck it there cause the cafeteria's meal was "unmangeable" meaning "not eatable"…He phoned his family everyday to go back…He finally got his wish….They thought it was enough punishment and in less than two weeks time in this Bled de merde (meaning Country of shit) he hugged me goodbye…

(N.B please note that the slang word "Bled" comes from the Arabic word "balad"…which means country…"pays" in French…)

9 years later... Never thought of seeing Eloi again till he called me from a private number....

"Alloooo...Masha...C'est Eloi ( meaning It is Eloi)..."
"Eloi....who?"
"Eloi..rimember...summer school...I told you I might be coming....I am heeere..surprise!!!!"
"Here where? Here in Saudi...here in Riyadh?????????"
"ouuuuiiii (meaning yes)....I have a business meeting but I tought I see you also..C'est pas fantastique? (meaning isn't it fantastic)?"

No... c'est pas fantastic....It is sooo not" fantastique"...True we exchanged emails...true I told him to come and visit Saudi one of these days...But isn't it one of those social things you do and never mean...I mean how many people did you actually take contacts from and called them even less visited them... (if somebody tells me loads...I will strangle them)

Oh no this is not good...not good at all....my being polite/ social scenario is turning into a nightmare.... (to be continued)

A Loss

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

-Robert Brault

Before I go into details…I have a question for all of you…Do you believe in girls and guys friendship?... Can we be so connected to the opposite gender in every way and still be friends? Is it natural? Can the creation of your being since the beginning of time "to be in a couple" vanish? And just have a mirror of yourself reflected in his/her eyes? …

If you asked me the same question a couple of months ago I would have definitely said yes…although a lot of people in our society would doubt it…It is not really a matter of geography than education…Being Saudi you cannot really hangout with other Saudis unless there are family or school/university/holiday friends…and even if you do.. Being in a group would be more moral and less "harmful" to reputation…

But if horrors of horrors you end up going out and have a "friendly" one to one coffee break with a guy the probability that this guy is perceived as your potential "partner" is 99.99%...

The location doesn't make a difference although places such as dim light restaurant, Chalets, "Istirahas" meaning "get away places", the diplomatic quarter (now it is harder with the tanks over there), the Bridge overlooking the cemetery (don't ask! Lol) and the Globe on top of Alfaysaliah are all considered "positive" date material… and bringing your "friend" there might look kind of dodgy… or that you are trying to make a move…

But if by any chance you happen to be abroad and he/she is too…you might meet up….hang out….catch up physically what you have been endlessly babbling about on the phone and e.mail…and spending your whole break with him/her…

Trust me nobody with a normal mental capacity will think that a straight, complete, functioning male could be that close to his similar in a female and not have feelings for her…but it happened….to me

Before I begin…let me tell you…I am one of those people that do not believe that my kinder garden mud playmate is my best friend and the rest " basta" meaning "out of the way"… Actually my kinder garden playmate was my best friend but life has made its course and we passed piggy tails era…Now we are just friends with a sense of nostalgia… Sometimes I feel closer to friends I have met 5 min ago but feel as if I have known them for ages…sometimes I feel closer to work colleagues that I see most of my time and can relate to during my stress attacks…and sometimes I go back to friends that really annoy me during regular days but are there when times get rough… To cut a long story short…I do not have a best friend…but friends I got close to along the way and through the different stages of my life…except for him…

He was different ..(not only physically different= he didn't have a curvacious upper body and matching bag/ shoes:):)) but mentally as well…he was the only one that saw me go through transformation from a hormonal adolescent with braces at 14 and turn to a more "Thagila" meaning "posed" young woman at 24….

For 10 years he was the pillar ..the security and point of comfort in my life…I loved him like my brother...maybe more…cause I didn't see the latter often…We had our quarrels and fights but he always managed to soothe me somehow and vice versa…

I guess I should have seen it coming when he sat me down one day and blubbered the whole truth…The truth that I was the one...The truth that he loved me from the first day he layed eyes on me…The truth that he couldn't stand seeing me with another… The truth that all these years he searched for a way to tell me… The truth that no one will understand me like he does…The truth the no one will ever love me like he will…The truth that he wants to be serious and settle down…The truth that he wants to be the father of my children whether their his own or not…The truth that he could wait for ever if he is sure to have me in the end…The truth about his feelings…The truth about us and the truth about him…

My eyes expanded in a moment of lucidity …and my heart contracted so much that I thought it would burst…I couldn't swallow…and I couldn't breathe…I just stared at him while listening to my own heart beat in my ear…

It is over…It can never be the same again…I should've known…But I was in denial…denying it in my head…denying it in my heart…

For years…My friends saw us as the perfect couple…Tall, incredibly gorgeous, smart, successful… He is every woman's fantasy…what was wrong with me…???

But maybe sometimes you need that perfect chemistry with that imperfect someone to fall in love.................If I did... I would have left everything for him….but I hadn't...so I lost… I lost the best friendship I've ever had and ever will…I lost the closest person to my soul and heart…I lost a part of me…I lost myself…and I lost him…

Bluetooth the new dating method?

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/dont.php

I thought about showing you this URL...loooooooooooollllllllll...you've got to see this!!!!!...but don't forget to get back and read my blog....or no more goodies for you guys...lol

In form you are the microcosm;
in reality you are the macrocosm.

-Mathnawi [IV, 521]

Wednesday night..The beginning of another weekend..(the w/e here is Thursdays and Fridays by the way)..In some middle eastern countries its Fridays and Saturdays and sometimes it’s a bit of Wednesdays and a bit of Fridays and sometime Thursdays…very confusing if you are a tourist even more confusing if you are a civil…So for all of these countries that are changing all the time..(If by any chance you are reading this)…stick to a day people…seriously…jeeeez!!!

Anyway..yes I am back in the country…..and can I admit???…I'm politically incorrectly glad to be here.. although half the city is out of town and you can fry eggs on the main road…It feels sooooo good!!!!

Let me explain I am one of those very very very very rare people that get bored on holidays…the first week its relaxing…the second interesting…the third I am going out of my mind!!!!!!..I need to do something and quick..I know I know...should get myself checked..but hey my boss adores me...:):):):)

After three weeks of this fresh new glad-to-be-home feeling...My life was resumed to work to house to house to work..Maybe a quick stop to a supermarket somewhere since my 6’ o’clock sharp chocolate double fudge ice cream cravings are getting worse everyday..

Please don’t analyze the reason..I don’t want to know..

Anyway on a particular low hot summer Wednesday evening a high school friend called..

"What are you up to?" she asked in a laid-back kind of voice..I don’t know why but something about the Saudi air makes you want to talk slower then the usual.. I personally call it the SVS..."saudi voice syndrome!"

"Nothing much!"

"Want to go out somewhere..and shop around?"

"I really don’t feel like it!" And that was so true regardless of me feeling low..

"Oh come on..Get ready and we will meet up in "Al Faysalia" or do you prefer "Al Mamlaka?"

(Two main shopping center-hotel-restaurant-cafes-globes-all in one enormous skyscrapers in central Riyadh)

"These are my options?"

"Where else would we go? Listen lets first go to the Mamlaka’s woman section..If you had enough of the whole parade..We can go to the Faysaliya.." Yes! we have a whole woman section and No! we do not have bachelorette parties there..

"What parade?"

"God! You have never been?"

"No..is that bad?.."

"Oh my god you will see the whole "fadaye7"... meaning "the whole uncensured version"... It is a live fashion show and plus it is a Wednesday night so EVERYBODY is going to be there..get ready for some major showing off!"

"You know I never understood this concept..I mean it is just us girls why the whole make up..Tight jeans..Loose hair? Don’t we have to on the contrary be as simple as possible in case of a dirty look which leads to a 40 degrees fever the next day?"

"Just come..Plus I miss you girl. We never see you!"

"Ok..ok 20 minutes I am there"


An hour later..

(That is another thing about the Saudi air..You can never make it on time even if you try your very best)..I met my good friend for a coffee on the Mamlaka’s 3rd floor woman’s section.. Although everybody took out their “Abayas”... “Tarhas” and everything that could possibly cover up what they so desperately tried to show...I felt uncomfortable without a piece of cloth hanging loose from my head..I guess it is a question of habit...


In the timing of exactly 5 minutes I was tired of the whole parade.."My good friend" on the other hand loved every minute of it.. Pointing and commenting on every other girl..I just listened in a state of semi consciousness...I didn’t realize how tired I was till I actually walked..This is not good..New september resolution..(i have a resolution per month..never works!)..Walk and use these things in your body called legs..

Which made me think I need a new pair of shoes..?!

Needless to say that shoes lead to clothes that lead to bags that lead to accessories which even lead to nightwear..

Another New september resolution don’t go shopping unless physically and emotionally stable..

I was low again..So we decided to go to the Faysaliya..On our way there I received a message..and another one then another one..As I searched through my bag for the squeaking voice I realized that I didn’t know any of those numbers..and it also came in a strange peculiar way..Like a sort of business card or something..This was the day I discovered Bluetooth..

I know what you are thinking at this moment..Where has she been living….Mars?..I know..But technology is not really my cup of tea..I knew there was something in my phone under the name of Bluetooth but never tried to know what it was..For crying out loud.. I just discovered a month ago that we could text faster using a T9 dictionary.. and you are talking to me about using a laser beam..

I had all sort of messages like.."want to get to know you"..or "my god I am bewitched by your eyes"..and very corny and cheesy things like that..But there was one in particular that made me smile..
A Bugs bunny kind of arabized rabbit pointing his finger at me and going " Whats up doc????" I know it is silly but it made me laugh..

"Where do these come from?" showing the messages to my friend

"Oh Bluetooth! Look around you..."

I didn’t get her at first but as I focused on the cars Mercedes..BMs..Lamborguinis…Hammers..They were full of teenagers, young men, older men, super married middle aged men…it suddenly struck me but of course it was a typical Wednesday night..There had to be some flirting going on..


"Where did here- is- my –number- in –your- face go?" I asked rather dumbly

"You have been away for too long girl..Bluetooth is the new thing"

"But who do you know which is which?"

"Well that is the tricky part it might be this guy or that one..or even that other one..and sometimes it is not aimed at you..or aimed at everyone..So you got to keep your senses alert.."

"So they don’t know my number right?" I asked dumbly again

"Of course not! There are not mind readers it is kind of a laser text messaging..I think it is kinda cute..Coz you get all these sweet words without having a psycho driving behind you or even having eye contact"

Hmmmm...talk about "a lifting the spirit" therapy...

Needless to say I got addicted..no not in a perveted type of way… (ok a bit)..lol..but in sending and receiving those funny soudanese/weird shubby cartoons video clips..hilarious..I don't know who invented those..but they are geniuses..if you guys have any send me some...:):):)

A new friend

"He who laughs, lasts."

-Mary Poole

recently met the most adorable Italian girl…It all started when I was doing a sort of break dance/sign language in Spain to order a " Bocadillo" meaning a "sandwich"…the problem was not the sandwich itself but what was IN the sandwich…

Since this was the land of "jamon" meaning "ham"( and since you all probably know..we do not eat ham) I really needed to know what I was eating... you might order mussels in this country and have sprinkles of ham on it instead of lemon…This is how fanatic they were about it!!!!…

Anyway the poor girl saw I was struggling so she tried to talk to the waiter for me…between three words of Italian and a word of Spanish…I ended up with a mozzarella and cheese sandwich…hmmm…Was better off with my break dance….But this " bocadillo" moment turned to a beautiful friendship…

We both were from the same astrological sign ..were born in the same date (but different years) and thought aquarius men were the worst…(sorry to all aquarius men out there…but you guys do suck at relationships..good friends though!!!…) This is how easy female bonding is…( and how short it lasts)..

Anyway she had one of those feminine male names..That only Italians can get away with…Carlotta instead of charles…Georgia instead of George…Valentina instead of valentino…(just made that one up)…But you get my point..

After the Italian girl comes the Italian crowd…How do a single traveling 25 year old girl got to know the whole Italian society in a foreign city…???? Don't know…. But damn the girl has skills!!!!:)..

We do (as Saudis and I guess as middle easterns) when gone to a foreign country put ourselves in "Shilas" a slang word for "groups"…But the process doesn't come easily it starts with a lot of staring as you walk by…A lot of whispering…a lot of guessing of which part of the middle east you are (a decisive point to be accepted or not.. But Saudis are accepted usually everytime..hmmm maybe because they are very superficial in their relationships with others..Thus a bit snobbish..Thus wanted!!!!)
There is also a lot of who you are…and how you are dressed…A lot of your personal status.. and a lot of how many times they saw you on the same street (since in each city there is a street or a place where our khaliji friends meet and look at each other…NO…not talk to each other…NO… not to know each other…Just to look at each other and show each other off…
example: Champs elysees: Haagen Daz in Paris…Knightsbridge: Tramps or Selfridges in London…Marbella : Puerto Buenos in Spain..ect)…

When all is said…done and known…The approaching begins…you might end up with a really fun "shila" to party with…or bump into your school friends or cousins that you haven't seen back in the country (cause you didn't care) and hang out with them (cause another day with your baby brother will lead you to suicide)… or get a crap romantic experience to just prove to your girlfriends you did something different this summer and released your inhibitions ..

At the end of the day you are better off with your parents' routine…

Back to my story…The Italians were fun and after the world cup they were funner…Although it was very clear to all that I was pro- Zizou ( if we can call them the French team… since half of them are arabs and the other Jamaicans)

Anyway The thing that surprised my Italian friend regardless of the non-drinking issue…( being a good representative of my Islamic country..I made a little white lie saying that it is normal and that most of the Saudis didn't drink…) should I laugh now…or keep it for later...hmmm…now….hahahahahahaha 

So like I was saying the thing that surprised my Italian friend was believe it or not…my physical appearance…Not considering myself a bomb but a girl with very typical Saudi Najdi features…(I have very cute dimples when I smile though : Masha says modestly)… I started thinking about the million Saudi drop dead gorgeous friends I have.. and what would she say if she saw them!!!!!!! Nevertheless The girl was amazed…which made me think did she ever see a saudi girl????... or a middle eastern girl for that matter???..negative…She was one of those rare Italian girls that never interacted with khalejis …and the closest she got to us was from the media…

Ok that explains it… I don't know if you ever thought about it but did you ever see a good looking Arabic man or woman in western TV or in the news.. Everybody knows that the most beautiful men and especially women are arabs..Since the beginning of time…But did you ever see one in the western news…????? There is only images of misery...war… Bearded man…old women.. and poor people....

Like in Africa…The most famous international models are ethopians or nigerians … but only famine… naked babies..and black flies are shown on the news…
The truth is the most miserable…stressed….out of work…depressed people are in the west but that doesn't show and even if it does they choose the most respectable and well presented one to talk about it…Media is an art.. a whole strategy of planning and showing..Like photography…painting…and sculpture…think about it…

The First Saudi Woman

"Once a harlot came upon a dog dying of thirst. Without a second thought she took off her leather sock, tied it to her veil, got water from a well nearby, and saved the animal's life. For that one act of kindness she was absolved of all her ill deeds. Indeed every deed of kindness toward living beings shall be rewarded." The Prophet Muhammad, as reported by Abu Hurairah

The other day I was going through one of those "laha" "hiya" "maha" "sama" "whatever arabic woman magazines...The cover catched my eye... first because of the superficial pose the girl had and second by the title " The First Saudi Woman to..."

ok let's take a look back at the last couple of months here in Saudi...There has been some major changes and when I say major i mean M-A-J-O-R..The most important one of course is our new king...Abdulla...He gave a great opportunity for saudi women to be more... hmmmm let's say "out there"... and God knows they weren't asked twice!!!!...BUT it is one thing to be more physically involved in the media and newspapers..It is another to be claimed the first saudi woman to do the " Lotus position"..I mean people that just sounds retarded...

and even if the major she is working in IS a new one...did the statistics actually checked the 22 million citizens (which only half of them are saudis) to know if she is actually the first saudi woman in saudi arabia (cause some of them have major careers abroad) to actually invent, invest, work, create, drive that sort of thing????...probably not...

That might come to some of you as a shock but saudi women do work...and they have been doing so for more than 50 years...in different fields..in different majors..and in different careers...Some of them have offices in different societies or positions in the biggest universities of the world...and some lucky ones have their name published in reviews or journals...But as most middle eastern women they are quite reserved about it which is a positive thing I guess...First of all it gives her a certain feminity...(She is doing all the work..job, house ,children but oh my god how could she manage without her dear amazing hard working husband?;);););)...which of course gives the men a certain ego that preserves their manhood...

and second as strong believers of the evil eye (since a lot of eyes are on us in this particular time)...we don' t want our "brains" suddenly disappearing like in Irak..do we????

The other MAJOR change was the voting for women driving in the country...(I think that was an actual international news..and the west LOVED it!!!!)..I can see them now going like: oh my god!!!! they are suffocating..it is a discrimination.. they are prisonners and dependant on their men...how can they live those poor - miserable-slowly dying -not equal with their partners women ...how could that be???? blablabla..lol...

ok I admit this is a funny one we have two women pilots but no women drivers...although we (the hajiris and other bedouin families drive in the desert all the time)...But the hilarious part is that 60% of the voters against the issue were women...lol...

It actually made me think...deeply...why??? well i guess some of them wanted to be driven around by drivers and not have to pick up chores..park..fill up the tank..change a wheel...get stuck in a traffic... while for others it is a better chance to spend more time with their husbands..he picks her up...puts her down...take her to her sis...then her mom...then her friend...then the kids...then...you got the picture...

hmmmm why not? I mean if it makes her happy...

which reminds me of an incident happening to me with a friend who just got married recently..had to meet her at the hairdresser where she goes three times and a half a week...two times for her hair and one and a half for manicure/pedicure/hammam/fatla/waxing/henna tattou..(yes it is every week...and yes it is very normal for us)....anyway...3 hours later she pops in...
I was in " kill you" mood... had 3 coffees and my hair and make up began to melt..(we had to go to a party together)...The point is I was having a nervous breaking down...
" Where have you been????"...
" on my way habibti (meaning darling).."
" three hours on your way????"
" We got lost Mo did not know the way!"
" why didn't you show him you practically LIVE here!"
" NOOOO WAYYYY!!!" she responded in shock " I made myself I did not know either!"

no comment...

The Golden Rule

"Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards." -Soren Kierkegaard

You people are just fantastic!!!!!!…you know just how to keep a girl blubbering on and a writer writing on...keep it up with those comments and emails…love you all xxxxxx

Today had a phone call from one of my friends…Telling me she was pregnant again…(I think this year is not only actors baby blooms season but my friend's as well…just this year I have 3 mamas on the go…) Any way she is " mashalla" meaning =God does as he wills …a mother of already 4 kids and this one( like the others) was "by accident"..or she didn't know "how that happened"…

Ok..lets make things clear!!!!!!..we don't know how we mixed sugar with salt in our "oum 3ali"…(an Arabian sweet that I urge you to try if you didn't)… we don't know how our little brother plays 4 hours in his PSP (a video game) with his eyes popping out and still have a functioning brain…we don't know how after a couple of highlights our hair color turns orange henna fluorescent after a simple contact with sea water + sun…

BUT for God's sake people… por favor... we DO know how we fell pregnant…!!!!!

Unless of course you have a minute memory like "Blue" the Fish in finding Nemo or "he" was just a minute-man… Which either way is not a very good sign…

hmmmmm….poor you..

This scenario back there is a typical female saudi/khaleji scene…

Since the beginning of time in Saudi as well as other Arabian countries…mothers passed to daughters the key to a long lasting marriage…Whether it is a happy one or not: " Bring it on " with the kids…

It reminds me so much of this chocolate kinder surprise invention…you eat the chocolate and poof here is a surprise!…poof here is another one..and another one and another!!!

Since we are not chinese ( the number is not limited) and Do love our kids to grow naturally through their phases ( Too naturally)..unlike Germans, Swiss germans, Austrians (anything that finishes with "ans") and Japanese..
It is not surprising to find a lot of newly weds to be "oh my god! How can it be..I am pregnant!" after only a couple of months…

The purpose of this Golden rule is to "enchain" the husbands to their wives…And the kids to go " Babaaaaaaa abee la3ba!" meaning "Dadddddyyyyy I want a toooooooyyyy!"…." Babaaaaaaa abee sayara!" meaning " Daddddyyyyy I want a caaaarrrr!"…." Babaaaaaaaaaaa abee zey Sarah!" meaning " Daddddyyy I want like Sarah!"…"Babaaaaaaaaa…" meaning " Dadddddddddddddyyyyyyyy!!!!"…

Of course as you can see The "Golden rule" can most of the time function positively for the wife…who can think about something else if you have a squeaking kid(s) 24/7 on your head..????

And an arab kid is NOT like any other kid… First we start as really ugly ducklings that change dramatically as we grow older…I remember a family member who did not believe that this was her newly born son…His fore head was bigger than his body and his nose was like a door slammed on his face!…she told the others to double check with the nurse..lol.. imagine "yashen weldi!!!!" meaning " my ugly son!"…lol

Well actually he turned out to be a handsome young man later on..The more we grow older the more beautiful we are…Unlike a lot of Europeans… when seeing the parents you just cannot believe that this little baby doll is their kid…But that’s how she or he will turn out to be…..like the parents..

Normal kids start talking at 1 or 2…we start yelling at 8 months…Normal kids start walking carefully around the same age…we start jumping from the top of the stairs to arrive faster to the bottom…Want to hear where the baby is in the house????.. Normal kids have a special device put for them in every room to hear them….We don't need one, just follow the sound!…In the playground normal kids stay in their own space where their mother left them with their sand bucket….we finished our castle, destroyed another kids castle, ran around the play ground, and drove our mother or filipinno nanny crazy by going out of the park and in the middle of the road…

If we applied the "calming down" pill that Americans invented for their hyper active children to our kids…We wont have anymore kids….lol..

But the "Golden rule" does not always work.. There comes a time when a man has got to go.. He's got to go ...whether he has one kid or 30…

A minute of silence

Did you guys every hear..about the minute of silence????where all the people stay still for a minute in remembrance of an event..usually a tragic one..

such as 7/11 ..or 7/7 in london's underground bombings...(I have a feeling that 7 isn't a very lucky number like most people believe) ..hmmmm let me rephrase that..actually London gave the attacks a 2 minute of silence...Thats when spain came in and gave it a 5 minute for the 11/3 Train bombings..(high on bid offer?????)..

I was actually with a friend of mine in london when the 2min of silence began known as "stay still to the closest underground that is in your reach and do NOT move.."That is when she turned and looked at me drinking her cafe latte extra caramel ..yes we were at a starbucks..and no we did not go the closest underground to stand still...

"Masha..habibti..why don't we in our countries do a minute or two to the people who died tragically?!I mean why didn't we think of it?"...lol..she is so cute...and sometimes can be so "clueless"...but thats what i love about her...

"hayati..if we tried to apply this theory... first of all WHO should we apply it too...palestiniens?..irakis?..(and now lebanese)????..and if we do agree of a timetable of silences to each country..darling we will stand still in silence for 20 YEARS or more in proportion to the number of dead we have...so I guess you should forget about the whole issue!"

"Oh...sa7!"...which means literally.."oh..your right!"..

But she did raise an interesting question right there..how can we show a public mourning to our innocent dead..Ok I know we as muslims are raised not show anything publicly..especially when it comes to feelings or good deeds...even less complain..hell we even hide our desires... we are taught to support our actions and thank god for the blessings he gave us...and if you are doomed than shut up and accept your destiny (qadaa ou qadar)..or be patient...

But the world has changed now and people do not understand "good manners" even less "love thy neighbour"...what they do understand is scandals and complaints and sueing...the more you cry the more you are heard..the more scandal you make and images you show the more people listen to you and are scared of you..jews got the picture...

Till now every single german citizen including the new generations should pay taxes to what they did in world war II..well we can't really use that strategy either cause the world's economy is going to go down and the rest of the world should be obliged to live as "pirates of the carrabien" to seek for hidden treasures..

hmmmm...I really don't know....any ideas?

What is a Saudi?

"That which God said to the rose and caused it to laugh in full blown beauty.
He said to my heart and made it a hundred times more beautiful" Mathnawi

I am surprisingly having positive feedbacks with my blog.. a few emails and some comments..want to thank you all for your interest which makes me want to write to you and open up even more...

Do we really know who the saudis are and what they are all about???..

Well..I can tell you ...They are normal homosapiens that live, breathe, and eat within an area of about 865,000 square miles (roughly one-third the size of the continental United States, and the same size as all of Western Europe).

They sometimes turn around for ages in the main streets to kill time or take a one hour drive to the closest "Istiraha" which literally means a place of relaxation but is intended to "relax" the bachelors (or bachelors wanna be for that matter) more than anything else...Or they just sit around puffing their shisha while tapping each other's backs when miracalously the national football team scores a goal..

Saudi women on the other hand tend to go to (as much as their after 6.pm timetable affords them ): weddings, funerals and hospitals ...The three major "hot" places to meet their future husbands or precisely mother in laws...
(like they say a man's funeral might be a woman's lucky day)..As for the working category of women....well too bad for them..Should've thought about it in the first place before wasting their time on education and future ambitions..their loss...

In fact 80% of working or educated women are single or trapped in bad marriages..A statistic all sucessful women in the world suffer from..especially in saudi..

From the masses of intermarriages and genetic diseases you can find an estimate 25% of disfunctions that lead to genuises ...such as the 12 year old boy (فارس الخليفي) Fares Alkhelefi who invented an educational watch and mobile phone for handicaps...

But first lets got back to the history of the peninsula itself to understand the perspective of saudis to each other and to the world..
Saudi Arabia was divided if not geographically but historically into 3 parts..Arabia Felix (happy arabia) which included the southern area of Saudi and Yemen..home of several prosperous kingdoms, including Saba ...
Arabia Deserta, The north and center of the peninsula which have always been populated by nomadic tribes and made it difficult to form large stable political organizations until recently thus the location of the capital Riyadh...Where I am from..:)
and The Hijaz which was part of a crucial trade route from the Mediterranean south to the Arabian sea (Mecca was a key city on this route) Thus the geographical importance to a lot of empires including the Abbassides, Omayades and Ottomans...

Now that I bored you to death with historical details will tell you why I did so..
We as Saudis do not only see other people as inferior..lol (I know what you are thinking but it is the truth and besides if you think of it logically isn't the WHOLE world talking about us????)
but we also see each other as inferior depending on the region..(arabs they will never change)...

For example Saudi families from Riyadh (The capital and where the government is)..consider themselves pure..tribal..untouched by other civilizations (don't really know why they are proud of that)thus TRUE saudis..

As for the Saudi families from jeddah.. ( the commercial and "liberal" city for most saudis)..consider themselves the money makers of the country and the supposed educated ones...Since the majority of them come from different civilizations and countries throughout history..

A bit like Dubai in UAE and Catalan in Spain..

All of this results in a sort of silent kind of weird war going on for ages between the two major cities...For some reason..

Jeddah calls Riyadh "Bedouins" ..Riyadh ignores...Jeddah invented a cliche which is famous by now saying "jeeeeeddah 3'air" (It is very important to give the squeeky "e" sounds..eeee..to have the proper dialect) and that means literally (jeddah is so different)..and Riyadh ignores..Jeddah tries to outstand the growing amount of intellectuals in the capital by giving Major headlines such as "oppening of an exhibition of 100 woman artists under 25"..Riyadh still ignores..(which was always its main weapon)= indifference...

But when a marriage occurs between two families and the girl is from " the bedouin tribal riyadh city" like they say..surprisingly a sort of proudness overcomes the hijazi mother in law..who gives a major wedding to arise the jealousy of other hijazi mothers who try to find an "Ace" girl to give an even bigger wedding..As for the girl in question her family might consider it a defeat and shameful act thus an uncessful marriage so they do not make a big deal out of it even if the jeeeeedah boy is fantastic...

It quite surprising how things work here...And quite double standard..Although the men from jeeeeedah have nothing to envy the men from riyadh.. I mean capital N nothing at all.. on the contrary..

But more of the Do and Don't of marriage later...

As for the eastern province...known as "where the oil is!" well their quite neutral really..they are not really loved or hated..They fall into the category of "whatever"...

Now that you know the basic principles...Let's start with the real stuff...Gossip!