Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Classical marriage???!!!…Nah!!! Let's improvise!!!!

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.
-Coco Chanel

In all cultures…traditions…religions…throughout history… Marriage is normally passed through a Priest, Sheikh, Rabi, Holy man, Chief of village, the Maire with the consent of both parties and the blessings of both families…legal papers…ect…

Classic stuff…you say…

Welcome to the 21st century…more precisely Welcome to Saudi…where we actually did our own rules and made it logically acceptable for not to feel guilty…

Boyfriend/girlfriend, living together, homosexuals, girls living alone, having babies without getting married, adopting babies Bradanjelina style WITHOUT getting married... as you know is quite taboo in our culture/religion and is definitely classified as a NO NO NO!!!!!….

SO What other choices do we have????!!! if we choose:

1- Not to commit the mortal sin (not having a Bf/Gf relationship)
2- Not to marry traditionally (refusing the idea of your mother picking her niece as your future bride)
3- Did not find the love of our life ( were too busy in your career or found out that most of the people you met were jerks superficial snobs that have the nerve to bee picky)
4- Had horrible past experiences so want to have the intimate part without the 24/7 in your face part..
5- OR the love of our life was totally thrown out of the door by our family..(regardless of your whining crying cutting yourself Amy Whinehouse style threatening to bombarding yourself and becoming a terrorist)

Well my friend we are glad to tell you that this is your LUCKY DAY…(this is not a joke) and we will motivate you with some ideas…but before that… let's have a little preview on HOW these ideas started…

Well it all came from a country far far away known for its seductive Cleopatra…humorous Adel Imam*…and breathtaking Oum Kalthoum's** vocal cords…yes…Egypt…

*famous comedian ** famous singer

GEOGRAPHICALLY the red sea separates us…but LITERALLY they live here in winter or mostly all the time and we go there for the summer…It is there where it all started…it is there where a local imam woke up one morning and gave the solution to legalize another kind of marriage for people to: Get it on without the pressure of passing through the family's inquisition and especially for young people not to be "single" anymore….

OF course being the typical Saudis that we are… we spiced it up and improvised it even more and even nicknamed some of them…so without further ado here goes…

*The "Zawaj alMot3a" (meaning the pleasurable marriage): this kind of marriage (as its name describes it) is for pure pleasure and I think we both know which kind…the couple is a couple for a certain time…nobody has to know (except the Sheikh and the witnesses of course)…the girl lives with her family and the guy with his or by his lonesome…if by a certain time they find out they were meant to be together (the sparks turned out to be a burning fire:) and want to take it out in the open…then the guy should do it the traditional way by passing through family…if not they divorce…no tears…no hard feelings…no drama…

*The "Zawaj Alshanta" (meaning the luggage marriage): These mostly include business man who are often traveling overseas and need some companionship to share the world with…so everytime he travels… his "wife" goes with him…Most of these men are already married…and the second "wife" is the fun bit…again it is up to the couple to decide till when they would be together…and if they want to take it out in the open…

*The "Zawaj Alfriend" (meaning the friendly marriage): These mostly include students that study abroad…they do not want to be contaminated with the sexual diseases out there but also do not want to be alone with a smelly roommate for 4 years…so they get married to another student and decide to study together…have fun together…do all the things young people do… and be together till the end of…………………………………………….their studies...again if they are happy they take it out in the open if not well they divorce and go their separate ways… no tears…no hard feelings…no drama…

LAST but not least

*The "Zawai Alweekend": as you must certainly have figured it out …this marriage is only on weekends…during the week you have your career to focus on…your family…your friends…your goals…the stress…and during the weekend you un-stress with your "wife" or "husband" …and like they say Absence makes the heart grow fonder….(Btw you have NO idea how popular this marriage is ;)

So I hope you enjoyed my post today and like always you didn't hear it from me :)

N.B: Please remember that every single idea here is capital C "copywritten" by (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia making your life easier by making your sex life easier)…Thank you and God Bless :)