Me…my brothers…and Zakariya in Deutschland (Part II)

Back to where I left of…I know you guys have been waiting for this for so long….Alora ( meaning: so in italian) here goes …

so you can imagine my surprise when…. the most beautiful girl I have laid my eyes on…( I have a quite picky taste so when I say a beauty… I mean it!!!!!) started chatting us up…let me rephrase that started chatting Zakariya up…Her hair was so blond that it reflected a sort of lighted aura around her oval face…her eyes were dark and deep which made the most beautiful contrast…she had the cutest little nose and the fullest pink lips which she loved to bite from time to time sulkily when she paused between two phrases…FORGET Claudia…This is the new face of L'Oreal…I bet not a single product would be left in the market after that..

Of course My brothers were drawling…even I was drawling…and Zakariya enjoyed every minute….

We soon found out that her name was Marie "Von (……)…" yes she was a von von von girl…meaning an aristocratic/amazing lifestyle girl…a bit like the" De (…)…" in France…"Del (…).." in Spanish/Hispanic countries…and "Al (….) " in some Arabic countries…although everybody nowadays start calling themselves…Al something…

Anyway at the beginning….the conversation was very banal…kind of like dreadful weather don't you think?… where you are from?….and how long are you staying?…blablabla… It was funny to see my brothers COMPLETELY ignored for the first time of their lives…( as much as I HATE admitting it…my bros are pretty handsome, drop dead gorgeous specimens of the male kind)...and till now they had no problems in attracting the opposite sex….till now….:)…..god! I am really really reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyy loving this!!!!!!…

After leaving her friends behind and sitting in our table…She soon proposed to be our guide tour through our stay (Duh! For obvious reasons)…she even invited us at her place for lunch* the next day…

* In Germany Lunch is at 12:00 p.m and dinner at 6:00 p.m…which pretty means breakfast and lunch for us…or a kitkat break…want to have a meal after 9:00 p.m…????? Starve!!!!!!!! ain't happening!!!!!! Or go to the Turkish neighborhood for some Kebabs…

Her place was more of an ancient palace with 100 of hectares of forest and greenery around…It was gorgeous…and so rustic…you expected any minute that knights with shining armors would pop out behind the trees and raise their swords for a one to one tournament….instead there was those tiny dwarf donkeys…(which she told me her dad imported from Tunisia especially for her…) and patched colored poneys grazing in the open space.…

And here I am…all these years…thinking that "I " was spoiled…I don't know if I should hate her…or envy her…my youngest brother though…was in love with her…actually he was in love with anyone that would let him ride on a four legged creature for hours…

Lunch was crap…partly because most Europeans think that a one course meal involving a big plate with tiny decorations and tiny winy portion inside with a leaf on top is more than enough…partly because Germans really really can't cook…. I think we will hit AGAIN the Turkish neighborhood for some real food and more appropriate times…

The next days were spent in intensive massive sightseeing ….and when I say intense…I mean it…I think we beated the Japanese tourist record…there was : Die Alte Pinakothek and Neue Pinakothek (two main art galleries if you are an art fan…p.s: the masterpieces are breathtaking)…the BMW museum ( if you are this classic german car's biggest fan you would love it…if not… you can do like me and tag along while sitting at every bench insight)…the Nympherburg castle (if you like ancient history, family tree and furniture this is the place for you!!!) the English garden…( a 900 acre park…such a lovely place to get lost in mother nature's wonders…) you can also stop at some beer gardens for a drink …It is kind of like an open air pub…of course I contented myself with a whole jar of Spetzi (A mix of Miranda and Pepsi)…a first for me….and frightening enough.. sooooooooo Machiavellically tasty…

the English garden is also THE main place for sunbathing….when the city has a glimpse of sun rays regardless the weather…a whole naked crowd of men, women and children are found laying on the ground…naked…yes naked....no bikinis…no boxers…no bathing suits…no stripped bathing suits…no underwears…no thongs…NO-THING …Nada.. (in spanish)…

It is much cooler to be naked in Germany…God even their saunas and steam rooms are mixed with nakedness….no wonder they get sexually confused most of the time….

Anyway one morning…Zakariya came in with a large bandage over his head…I was horrified…" Esh Sarlek????? (meaning: what happened to you???)"
" Walashey to7t! (meaning: nothing I fell)"
Something I learned being in a male dominating household…when they say nothing…it means there is a major thing…but they just don't want to say it to YOU…or they are afraid that you might ask further questions…
So I pretended to go to another room and slipped behind the door…oh come on!!!! like you guys never did the same…It is the only way I would know what was going on…and I was DYING to know what was really going on… so a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do…

"men jedek…to7t? (meaning: did you really fall…for real?" that was one of my brothers…Zakariya shook his head " La ouja3..(meaning: damn no!!!)" and started to tell the story of the real cause of the "fall"…

I had to run across the corridor for me not to faint with laughter…

The thing was that our good man went out all night with Marie von von von…of course they found themselves in her place…in her bed….

Marie von von von like any brought up educated catholic religious girl…had a large cross on the wall…on top of her bed…I guess Jesus was not really pleased with their acrobatic physical actions and decided to fall on their heads in a very crucial moment…more precisely on Zakariya's head in a very crucial moment…the night was spent of course in the ER…

I could hear my brothers crying with laughter…It was really hard to look at Zakariya seriously after that and then pretend not to know anything….I had to push the taunting thought of a naked jesus on a naked Zakariya…loooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllll….Oh god I thing I am going to die….looooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllll

The rest of the day was spent with Marie von von von in the fabulous magical Neushwanstein castle of Ludwig II (the king of fairy tales and weird imagination)…this is the castle that inspired Disney's sleeping beauty's palace…Zakariya was walking behind sulkily trying to stay away from us…as much as possible… As for Marie she was trying to explain to me the history behind the whole mysterious king…the thing is… she talked to me as if I was a sort of retarded …I can feel she really wanted me to be the poor miserable Arab creature when she asked " did you ever see snow????"…My instincts told me to better stick in playing dumb and miserable…

Hell what's a little "Duh!" compared to a black Mercedes with a chauffeur that takes you up the hill to the castle's door without walking with the mass…

" Actually no!!!! It is so beautiful and white….and fluffy!!! Wow I really would have loved to take some home in a bottle if it didn't melt!"…Marie was extremely pleased…My Bro looked at me like I was some sort of maniac…I gave him " the shut up and let me do my thing" look… Besides she was being extremely sweet… especially after a night like hers… so why not make her day as well…

On our last day…Zakariya hanged out with our gorgeous german friend all day…you have to give it to him…another guy would have run off the hills but not him…I guess he needs more than a bump on the head to spoil his good time…

"why don't you stay here a couple of days…you seem to enjoy yourself and she definitely seems to like you…" I asked him when he came back to pack his things…

"Nah…"

"Why? You don't like her????.. So why did you go out with her???"

"It is not that…she is nice…but it was even nicer to see the annoyed look on your brothers during these days…THAT was priceless…and besides I am not a big fan of blondes…I don't like their smell…"

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